Cruise to Destiny

Chapter 28

Cruise to Destiny

Chapter 28

Two weeks later

Rosanna POV

I'm sitting here in a psychiatrist's office as everyone says I need to talk to someone about everything. I heard my name being called and I walked into the office.

"Please sit wherever you're comfortable. So, I have you down for a double appointment because you're new, so tell me why are you here?"

"I'm here because people think I need to be here."

"Do you think you need to be?"

"I don't know, I know a lot of things have happened in the past year but I have never spoken to anyone about it."

"What has happened to you?"

"In February, my mom died she lost her battle with brain cancer."

"I'm sorry to hear that. How'd that make you feel?"

"I was glad mom was so sick by the end I didn't recognize her anymore and she didn't know me." I have a tissue in my hands twisting it up.

"Were you close?"

"Yes, we were all each other had; though my mom did have a lot of friends they were mainly homosexual men, so I was brought up in that environment."

"Was there a reason for that?"

"I don't know, I know that my mom didn't meet another man, though I have no idea if she had lovers, I never saw them she was very discreet."

"How was your relationship with her?"

"Oh, we loved each other, I miss her so much we'd talk every other day. I looked after her when she got sick. She didn't want me to, she thought that I should've been living my life but I know I did the right thing, I can never get that time back again being able to spend all that time with her, looking after her like she did when I grew up. I took six months off to look after her. My partner looked after our shop while I did that."

"What do you do?"

"I used to make cakes I haven't been able to do that in about four months."

"Do you want to go back to work?"

"Probably not. But I own it so it doesn't matter, does it? My partner can run it he already is and is doing a good job."

"So, you're happy to be a stay-at-home mom?"

"I don't know, I do love what I do but I think I'm getting used to this mommy business but I don't know."

"What else has happened to you to bring you here?"

"I lost my best friend he was murdered because of me."

"Why do you blame yourself?"

"I was getting married and we went to a club and he picked up a man that killed him."

"So, it's not your fault?"

"Yes, it is. If I hadn't gotten married and decided we needed a final night out, then their lives never would've crossed paths. So, you tell me that I'm not to blame? I caused my best friend to lose the love of his life and that's my fault. There isn't a damn thing you can say to change my mind I have to think about that for the rest of my life. Everyone can say it's not my fault that's bullshit."

"If I can't change your mind then why are you here?"

"I don't know. My husband thinks I'm having issues, I wonder why? In the space of ten months, I've lost my mom, met the love of my life, fell pregnant, and got married, on the day I got married my best friend was killed and he died alone, I nearly lost Destiny, I've given up a job I love, gave birth, nearly died twice, I do love my daughter we're getting used to each other. So here I am to get 'help'."