LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 4

In Denial

By TotallyaDork

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Hi, I'm Grace and I'm a pansexual, panromantic person who hasn't figured out their gender(I think I'm Agender but I'm honestly so confused).When I was young my parents never talked about anything LGBTQ+ related, I don't think they felt it necessary to talk about that stuff. I was surrounded by mounds of straight couples and I didn't even know LGBTQ+ people existed. But then again, I was like 5, I didn't think about that stuff.Eventually I learned that gays and lesbians exist. I still didn't give it much thought, I ignored it and went on with my life. But now that I look back on it, I did recognize girl's looks more than boy's. I always found myself staring at girls. But little ol' me was deep in denial and I kept telling myself I was just jealous of how pretty they were.Then I went into Middle School and the first person I made friends with eventually came out as Bi, then as Lesbian to me. And another friend came out as Non-binary and Pan. And another friend came out as Bi.One by one my friends got me thinking about what attracted me. Was it boys? Or girls? Or did I not care about gender? While I thought about this I was simultaneously denying it and trying to convince myself that I was straight because... well there really was no reason I just wanted myself to be straight.I had multiple crushes on girls, but was in denial about if for a long time.Eventually I met someone who is transgender(FtM) and I dated him for a while but he eventually broke up with me, we're still great friends though. I've accepted it and moved on.But I REALLY just want to thank him for helping me accept my sexuality. He was the first person I came out to and was the turning point in my inner battle over my sexuality.Now I just have to figure out my gender, wish me luck~!-Grace ~(^-^)~