LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 4

Coming to Terms With My Heart

Anonymous

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To start, there's gonna be plenty of my own cringe haha.
So basically to begin this whole shpeel, when I was younger I was seriously oblivious. I didn't find out about the LGBT+ community till seventh grade. How? Two of my friends who were both female started dating. I had no problem with it whenever I saw them, I thought it was pretty cute to be honest. At the time though, I was CONVINCED I was straight. I had a boyfriend (cringe with me now. It's so bad.) And it was the first relationship I'd ever had. Awkardly enough, he was the first crush I ever had, while others around me were fawning over so many guys, while I sat back uncaring unless it was someone I truly liked. It was the first time my true self actually showed through, even though I just pushed it aside. Fastforward to eigth grade and in my art class I meet my friend group. Let's call them.. Kit, Nevie, J, and Dakota. See, Nevie I met in my second period class, and we got along really well once I looked up from my books. Art was my third period, and Id already known Dakota from previous years of school. During this time I learned many a thing about them, Specifically that Dakota was Bi, and Kit was questioning. The rest of use surely assumed we were straight. At one point during the semester, I got what people would call a "squish" on Kit. I assumed nervously it was a crush, and shoved it down thinking I'd worry about it another day. It lasted about four weeks than solidly disappeared since I made sure I didn't think about it. I safely told myself I was straight. Fastforwards again to Ninth Grade, which I'm still currently in and I am still in the same Group adding one of my old friends who's a year older than me, K. K is an ace person, who i assuredly found another best friend in. I got a lot more "squishes" during the first few months, before I finally figured out that I WASNT as straight as I thought. I got a crush on one of my best friends, J. I was (and still am) completely in love with her. After realizing it, I was almost desperate to find something that fit ME. I thought for a few hours, before remembering a term I'd heard from a role play. Demi. I thought about it, and realized it fit who I was perfectly. The next day I told my friends I was Demiromantic. Once I did, it felt like the largest weight was lifted from my shoulders. When before, I was in so much stress, I was finally calm. They all accepted me, probably adding to my relief. Soon after I came out, I found out one of my other friends, Nevie, was Bi. Later on during the same semester, I realized I was Asexual. Of course, when I told one of my friends they declared it impossible to be both, and that you can't be "just Demi". So I said I was "Demi-Bi." I was stressed again, for a long while, until I realized that it didn't matter. That I was just Demi and Ace. Nobody's opinion could decide who I was. And to this day (still in ninth grade), I am who I am. And nobody will ever change it.