Through My Eyes

98 11 4

by lgbtq

by lgbtq

By StarOnTheOcean

Last year was a really rough year for me. I was going through a really dark time in my life, and I wasn't sure why. After many more months, I finally figured it out--I'm bisexual. It was a really daunting thing for me to learn, considering I've grown up Christian all my life. What was I going to do? Stay in the closet? I actually ended up calling all my friends, and surprisingly enough, the friends from church said I SHOULD come out, and my friends from school said I SHOULDN'T. I was absolutely torn. It never occured to me that this part of the process would be so hard. Finally, that night, my mom came into my room, and she could tell that something was wrong.

I finally said to her, ""Mom, there's something I want to tell you, but I'm not ready to tell you yet. I think I should talk to a professional before I come to you about this, but just please don't ask any questions.""

And what do YOU think she did?

She asked questions.

She continued to pester me about what was wrong, up until the point where I thought she almost got it. The next day, I came home from school, and she sat me down. It took her a while before she asked me, ""Do you think you're gay?""

It's not a stretch to say I was TRIGGERED. See, I don't THINK anything. When it comes to sexuality, no one THINKS they're gay--they KNOW it.

Breathing kinda shakey, I replied, ""No, I AM bisexual.""

She continued to tell me that what I was feeling was just a phase and I would soon realize that it was just hormones. It was so hard to keep myself from crying, and I ran up to my room. And that was the day my Mom made me come out.

Years passed. We continued to get into arguments about it, I broke away from Christianity, but overall, our relationship stayed kinda stable. I've come out to a lot of other people in my family, and I haven't been disowned yet!!! So....that's a good thing. My parents say that they will support me in anything I want to do (Other than drugs, of course), and for the most part, I believe it. They let me join my school's GSA. I'm open about my sexuality now. I've even come out to my youth group! But the reason I've brought my story to you today, is that it DOES get better. I didn't think that after I came out to my mom that anything would go back to normal. I thought my relationship with my family was screwed. And sure, it IS kinda sad to hear about those parents who threw a coming-out party for their kid, but I know that at least for me, it could have been worse. But I know that it doesn't matter what she says about me, and it doesn't matter what anyone says about me. I am who I am, and it shouldn't be up to anyone else who I say I am. YOU are who YOU are, and it isn't up to anyone else who you say you are.

I hope my story shows you what it's like living in the world we live in today, through my eyes.