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by lgbtq

by lgbtq

Anonymous

A couple of years ago, I struggled(and still am, if I'm being totally honest) with both my gender identity and sexuality. It started when a family friend came out as transgender, and I didn't totally understand what that meant at the time. All I understood was that he was going by a different name and different pronouns too. I made some mistakes, but eventually I kind of wrapped my head around it without knowing anything else about the LGBTQ+ community.

This also prompted me to think: what if I'm not actually a girl? I had enjoyed what were labeled as ""girl things,"" but it was all so confusing. I was just figuring out who I was as a person, and now I started to question if that was really me. Of course, I don't blame that family friend(who I won't name for his privacy). If anything, it helped me figure a lot of stuff out. So I did some research.

I originally thought I was pansexual, but something didn't feel right. I tried dating an online friend who I had known for a couple of years, but I got scared and broke up with her shortly after. Not my proudest moment. I thought, ""Maybe I don't want to date anyone. Maybe I'm aromantic."" But the label just didn't fit. Then I started noticing that I wasn't comfortable being called ""she"" or ""he."" So what pronoun was right? I didn't think there were other options.

After countless months of research and experimenting, this time not romance dodging the minute after the relationship starts, I realized that I'm attracted to girls. I also found out that ""Wow, there's this other amazing pronoun that fits me!"" I realized I was a lesbian who went by they/them pronouns. The label nonbinary doesn't make me feel comfortable quite yet, but I don't need a label for everything. I guess I can thank my trans family friend for leading me on the path to figuring out who I really am. I still haven't come out to everyone, but to my friends I'm out and proud. So that's my milestone, it isn't much and the labels I'm using will probably change in the future. For now though, this is who I am.