The Lost Drifter

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By Maya

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I was lost. I knew that I was different, but I didn't know what. I had to see what it was.
I had remained quiet for numerous months, finding myself and who I really am. I didn't like being different.
I was surrounded with lgbtq friends, two who were bi, two gay, and one queer. I at that point realized that I was queer. I didn't know if I liked boys or girls. I didn't even know if the whole relationship thing was for me.
Fast forward a year, and I'm in high school. I found out that my school had a GSA and I wanted to join it, but my parents don't accept lgbtq people in my community. I wanted to go to find myself, and I wanted to get help. Being lost with my sexuality is hard. I never realized that it basically felt like l was constantly in the dark. It felt like I was surrounded by people that could help, but I didn't reach out. I had my sister and many close friends. I was like a lone star, drifting farther and farther away from home.
I didn't know what to do, and one day it clicked. I saw her. I knew that right then I knew that I was gay. I just had feeling for her, but I knew that she didn't have any for me. Ahe was straight, who was I to know that one girl, I met that year would change everything. I felt closer to home. As if I was a rocket zooming back home. I had found myself. I had finally understood why I was different.
But that lost feeling remained. I had lost my crush, but my friends were there, and soon, my birthday rolled around. I invited over friends, three of which part of the lgbtq community.
That night, I was on the couch with my gay friend, and we w were watching movies. She fell asleep on my lap, and I couldn't move, but I looked at her peaceful face, and I found someone new. I was always happy to see her during the day, and she always brightened my day. She was my becon of hope. She was the rope that pulled me closer to home.

Today I know, I've come home.

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