An Ambassador for the Growing Community

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by lgbtq

by lgbtq

By NightWhisper1

When I was in 7th grade (I was 12 at the time), I had never heard the word gay, lesbian, bisexual etc. before. I always assumed boys were boys who liked girls, and girls were girls who like boys. I left my old catholic school to take part in a prestigious art program called LEAP where I met some of my best friends. One of them in particular, Cadence, was talking to me on the bus and said that she was pansexual and non-binary. I bit my tongue thinking, "Okay, this girl is weird." The next day I asked her what that meant and she began to explain to me all these different genders and sexualities. She introduced me to Ash Hardell on YouTube where I learned so much about a lot of sexualities and genders. I was having a moment of inspiration to do research and learn as much as I could about the topic of being LGBTQ+. When I began to watch the ace/aro trilogy, I realized that I was AroAce because I've never actually liked anyone in that way. So months went by and I told nobody but Cadence about me being AroAce and eventually I found out about genders.

"What does it mean to be genderfluid?" I ask her after watching another Ash Hardell video.

"Basically, you identify as different genders at different times depending on what is happening or what you're doing," she responds.

"Cadence, I think I'm genderfluid," I state simply. She doesn't ask why she just hugs me and says she doesn't care.

More months go by and I begin to develop a crush on this girl who I'm very close with at school. I begin to think I'm gay but then thought no I'm not, because I don't want to sleep with her. I rematch certain videos and come to the conclusion of demi-homoromanticism. I go home that night, pumped to tell my parents about who I am, thinking they would be supportive. But no. I try to tell my mom on the way back from an out of town dance competition but she doesn't agree with it. The conversation went like this:

Me: Mom... I have something I want to tell you.
Mom: What is it sweetheart?
Me: I'm asexual.
Me: And demi-homoromantic.
Me: and genderfluid.

She stares at me incredulously for a moment before becoming extremely angry.

Mom (shouting): RACHEL YOU ARE 12! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU LIKE?!
Me: I'm sorry... I just wanted you to know...

So Mom goes on and on about me being 12 and watching too much YouTube for the entire hour and a half drive back to the house. I'm in tears because I knew she wouldn't accept me for me even if I was young. I told dad and he didn't say anything. He just dismissed it. Eventually things in my family went from bad to worse when my mom's job fell apart and the arguments between her and my dad got even more frequent. By this time, Cadence had betrayed me and tried to pin a major theft on ME (I do not want to go into the details). My life fell apart after that. I'm currently living with my friend Gracie after running away 3 months ago.

During all of this, I felt that people don't like LGBTQ+ people because they don't know what a lot of it means. I took it upon myself to educate my classmates about the community when my principal got wind of what I was doing. He asked me if I would be willing to give a speech to the school about it and I agreed thinking it wouldn't take me very far. After the assembly, I felt the level of kindness and understanding rise in the school. I also had a lot of students come up to me and tell me that I helped them find themselves and I was so touched.

But that's not the end, nope there's more. There were some community members from youth shelters and things like that who witnessed my speech. They asked if I could go talk to their youth and I agreed. Ever since that school assembly, I've been an ambassador for the LGBTQ+ community through my speeches and education sessions held in my city.

I'm now in grade 8 and thriving. Being an ambassador really helped me learn and allowed me to teach people about the community so they can be more understanding and empathetic. I feel like everyone should do their best to be an ambassador in their own way because it definitely helps promote peace and harmony inside and outside the community.