LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 4

First Ever Crush

Anonymous

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So, this is...new for me, for lack of a better term.

Let's start at the beginning. Last year, I thought that I wasn't in any way shape or form, gay. Or bi. Or lesbian. I did support LGBT though. I just thought that I was not going to like another girl.

And then this year rolls around and hits me hard in the ass. The first 5 weeks were ok. Get used to the new classes, teachers, and classmates. Everything was going ok. And then I developed a crush on her. Let's call her Anon. She was...funny, I guess. That's the word I use to describe her. But yes. I developed a crush on Anon. And let me tell you. I fell hard. Just...staring. She was cute, funny, the whole package. And, like every other teenage girl, I told my in real life friends. We'll call them A2 (a boy from this year) and A3 (a friend from kindergarten) They both accepted me, even though I was still questioning myself. Now, A3 is known to be a gossiper. And so are other kids in my class. I still don't know how, but somehow, my whole class found out. And that included her.

So my secret became everyone's business. I was shocked, to say the least. Anon knew I liked her.

The weeks went by. Maybe 2 or 3. Then, we got new seats in math. My math teacher sat me next to Anon. Anon's friends and A3 snickered, in (what I'm hoping) that sense of "that's funny in a good way". Another decent friend of mine also sat next to me. She knew too.

But then that day came. The topic came up between us (and the boy that sat next to Anon) about the whole issue. She said we weren't friends to begin with. She didn't seem entirely weirded out by me, she just didn't look at me during the conversation. I mean...I knew it was rejection, and that she would never like me back. But, I didn't feel sad. I just excepted it and moved on.

To this day, I still have a crush on her. Some might call me obsessed. Some might say I'm in love. But deep down, I myself know that I have moved on.