LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 4

A Girl Who Singlehandedly Drove Me Insane

By Mico

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This is really strange for me to do, but I'm going to do it anyway, because this matters to me.

Last summer, I met this girl. She was funny, kind, and adorable. She got along with everyone, and was even cordial to the people that annoyed her. I don't think she really hated or hates anyone, with the exception of our current president (USA).

She was amazing, and the entire week I spent with her was just so much better with her.

She really insecure about her weight, so when we'd head down to the camp's pool, she'd do sit-ups instead of swimming. I would offer to do them with her so she didn't feel left out (also because I wanted to spend time with her), and she'd always let me, even though she'd make comments about how I don't need to exercise at all. She's get so upset when I'd do more sit-ups than her. Alrhough, 'upset' isn't really the right word. More like impressed and jealous.

She was perfect, though. I really don't know why she felt so bad about herself.

At the end of the week, when we all had to go home, she told me she loved me.

If she meant it in a friendly way or another way, I still don't know. Like I said, she seemed to love everyone.

But I can't stop thinking about her. It took me a few weeks to fully realize exactly how far I had fallen for this girl.

It's like I was asleep while I fell, and I only woke up when I hit the ground.

For the rest of summer, I was over the moon. I was saying ridiculously stupid things, and I knew it, too. I just didn't care because everything was right. If I could relive one part of my life and only one, I'd relive that summer. And if I had to narrow it down even more, I'd pick that week with her.

In the back of my mind, I knew I'd never see her again. She lives really far away from me, so it's not like I can see her everyday. I knew my love would fade.

But I didn't think about that. For the first time ever, I actually couldn't wait for school to start so I could tell all of my friends what a wonderful girl she is, and how love actually feels like getting hit with a baseball bat. Unexpected and sudden. At least, that's how it was for me.

Only a couple days before the school year started, though, I finally accepted why she never answered any of my phone calls. I searched the internet for her address so I could write her something (I feel really bad about that because it makes me sound like a stalker), but I didn't find anything.

I cried all night.

It sucked.

All of it sucked.

Love is annoying, and I hated getting my heart broken.

I still think about her, considering she was the first person I ever actually fell for. But I've accepted that we just can't be that.

Maybe this year I'll see her again.

And if I don't, I know there are plenty of other girls out there for me.

Highschool is full of pretty girls, after all.