LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 4

Discovering Myself

Anonymous

~

Hi. I am just a short girl living in England. Being Muslim, I never heard of lgbtq+ until I saw a program on the TV. This had some people who where transgender and their stories. At the young age of around 6, I was told that this was wrong when I asked. Trans people are mistakes by God, along with gays and anyone who doesn't identify with being male or female. I grew up. I matured. I got (extremely) dirty minded. I had dismissed what my mother had said all those years back. Then, I met a girl, let's call her May. May was the one who told me about lgbtq+. Then, another of my friends (let's call her Pheonix) came out as Trans. I wholeheartedly accepted her, giving her advice about coming out to her parents. A few months after this, I recognised I have feelings for girls. Back in primary, I had a crush on a guy so I couldn't be gay. These past few weeks, I've been reading the lgbtq+ books and realised what being pan was. I have feelings for Phoenix and I want to come out, at least to her. I keep telling myself I will, but every time, I doubt myself. What if I'm actually straight? What if I'm bi, not pan? What if she doesn't accept me? Will my parents figure out?The thing is, I want to go into engineering. 3 problems: I'm aisian, I'm a woman and I'm pan. So, 3 difficulties to overcome. I still am going to pursue my career path but it isn't going to be easy and I still need to do some discovery. But, long story short, I am pan. This was how I discovered myself.