Wolfgang | 3 | {COMPLETED}

~66~

Freyah Kent:

Today would have been my due date with Willow.

Wolf knows, I know and all the feelings I had been getting over for the past four months have all bubbled up again.

I have been living in a sort of limbo since my breakdown in the nursery. I have been avoiding all the Mortimers and Wolf too. I just can't face him anymore because every time our eyes meet I see the pain in them, the pain I have brought him.

It's not fair on him to take on all this, my emotions, the grief and searching for my grandfather all while being the loving husband and father I need for me and the kids.

I just hate myself so much, I have caused this family so much pain. I wish that Ollie didn't choose to save me, I know why he did but I would just love to have swapped places and let my daughter live her life rather than continue with mine.

I hate myself and the more the days go by, the more I get angry with myself that this hate builds in me and gets stronger and stronger. That's why I have been avoiding everyone and have only been with the twins and the animals so that I wouldn't blow up against anyone and make matters worse.

Rose had her baby girl recently, Leora Everleigh Rose. She is the most precious thing in this world and I just wish I didn't feel all this anger, jealousy and hate towards her. Rose has had it tough these past few months too with Kendyn being shot and knocking on death's door.

I don't know much about what goes on in the Mortimer family nowadays. I know some things when Everleigh phones me to ask if I'm ok but I always cut her short because I don't want her to check up on me, I just want to move on, yet I never quite get there because there is always something thrown in my face to remember how terrible I am. And today was the due date.

I decided to wear a light blue sundress putting my hair up in a '50s like ponytail and a pair of white trainers to run around with the boys in. The three of us were outside in the garden playing with trucks and doll houses with Trousers sitting next to me keeping guard and Smokey bathing in the sun occasionally sending a glance my way when the boys were making too much noise.

Wilder and Woodrow look so much like their dad it's unbelievable, they are now three and Wilder is the exact copy of Wolfgang. The way they act, their temper, the way they look and react to things, what they like and much more. Woodrow is a more loving soul, he, of course, has his father's temper when he wants to and he looks like him but he is more like a cuddly bear whereas Wilder is, well wild.

I haven't seen Wolf this morning nor for lunch. I just don't know what to do anymore and I think he doesn't know what to do with me either.

***************

Wolfgang Mortimer:

I got home late afternoon, I don't even feel welcome in my own home anymore.

I put my things down in the entrance hall and went on a search for my little gang. I heard the twin's laughter coming from the garden and followed the heavenly sound.

It always put a smile on my face when I hear the sound of my sons' laughter in this broken house because at least they are happy and healthy, I would forever be grateful for those two terrors in my life.

There she was. My beautiful wife, even with everything that has happened she still stayed the most beautiful and loving mother to my children, she has just lost herself on the way.

A mother with a missing child and that was the most painful part.

"You're back," she stated once she saw me walk out, her blue eyes meeting mine.