Same But Different - GirlxGirl (Completed)

Chapter Forty Seven

Belle’s POV

Doing The Right Thing

You know how sometimes you feel like there is a fine line between love and hate. And when you stand in the middle of it, you lose all sense of the feelings until you feel numb inside. I always believed love is stronger than hate. Think about Beauty and Beast for a second, didn’t love beat hate? But I am still stuck in the middle. How’s that fair?

It wasn’t the time to complain, I know. But right now there isn’t a single person who would understand what I’m feeling. I still love her; I still do even after she told me she doesn’t. Even after I learnt that she is going to die. The one I love is going to die, and it still hasn’t hit me yet. I am still drowning myself over the fact that she rejected me. Does that make me a bad person?

I guess so.

Why am I not crying over the fact that she’s dying? Why are these tears flowing down my cheeks the result of rejection? Maybe I haven’t gotten enough closure, or maybe I have hope that Sasha would survive this.

On the other hand, it was Yuri who had the tumor and the one suffering is both her and Sasha. I don’t know how I feel about Yuri at this point. I feel sad for her, but then there’s this strong feeling of hatred towards her. Does THAT make me a bad person?

I think so.

Why am I talking to myself? I thought again while sitting on the swing. The last time I came here, I was with Sasha. I had given her an option to leave Yuri for good, but that day she chose to protect Yuri. I don’t wish Yuri any harm, I just wished it was me but that’s the least of the problems right now. Why couldn’t I get that? Why can’t I still understand? Is something mentally really wrong with me? Or am I just a horrible friend?

Maybe.

Normally sitting here, I was always able to forget all my worries but I couldn’t. I couldn’t face rejection. I couldn’t face reality. I was just loser Belle and will always be her. I’ve cried a million times in front of Nick to save her, but there is nothing even my most talented brother can do, if it out of his power. Time was running out, and all I feel is not anxiety but numbness.

“Belle?” My little bubble was burst by an unknown voice that echoed behind me.

“Whitney?” I questioned while staring at her face. I knew it was her but why on earth was she talking to me?

“I had a feeling that was you. I recognized the hair from behind but then there were no glasses, so I was a bit confused there for a second” Whitney walked beside me and sat on the opposite swing.

“What do you want?” I rolled my eyes as I asked. Every time I see this girl, I remember the video of Sasha and her kissing that went viral and it boils my blood.

“I just wanted to ask you where Yuri is. She hasn’t shown up for school and I saw Mrs. Williams drop by the school to talk to the principal and she looked very upset. You must know what’s going on” Her face stayed still and serious throughout her words.

“Why on earth do you care where Yuri is? Are you asking me this, so you can spread false rumor across the school?” I crossed my arms and decided instantly not to tell her. Yuri wouldn’t want the school to know about this, and neither would Sasha. Time to be a good friend.

“If I was spreading false rumors I wouldn’t have bothered to ask, now would I? I am just curious, that’s all. I hope she’s doing alright. I’ve been meaning to talk to her for a while now and she just disappears right after yelling that she’s a lesbian at the cafeteria. I have a feeling something is going on.”