Senseless Abyss (Zero-One Fanfic)

-Chapter 55

-Chapter 55: Forget

I exit out of the browser on my tablet and close my eyes. Jin is destroyed and Horobi is also destroyed it seems. I'll never see either one of them ever again. I'll miss them both because they were like family to me. If I could speak to Gai to get this off my mind, that would be good. He's just busy at this moment so I can't.

"Is there a problem, Mari?" Abyss asks me and I look at her as she tilts her head. "It seems, according to my facial recognitions software, that you are upset about something. What are you upset about?"

"Jin and Horobi are gone." I can't really just get over it. 

I knew Horobi got taken out because of Isamu, but Jin? I woke up to find him gone. I've been trying to figure out what all has gone all while I was out of it for a bit, but it all is too much. My head and heart are both hurting because of it. 

"I am aware of that, but why would that make you sad? I do not comprehend it."

She was better when she was pretending to be me. "Jin was a like a crazy teenage son for me," I state, answering her question. "And Horobi...I loved that insane man more than a lot of things out there in the world. Even if he followed the Ark, I loved him."

It didn't matter to me that he followed something so passionately. I get that he didn't question it, but I appreciated that. He believed in something so much that it was something he was passionate about. I don't agree with it, but I can respect it.

"They were like family then, correct?"

"You can say that." There isn't a clear answer for me to give her. I enjoyed being with both robotic men like we were some sort of family.

I wanted to be with Horobi no matter what, but it is clear that isn't possible. Him being a robot made it difficult. Especially with the fact he followed the Ark certainly complicated things. Now that he is gone, I have to get on with my life.

"I do not understand the concept of a family."

"I am not surprised by that, Abyss," I reply, smiling. "How could someone like you understand the concept of a family? You were designed for battling, not having a family of your own."

I wonder what Horobi saw in having children he could control. He had Assassin HumaGear, Jin, and Space boy as his children. Just how many kids does he have? I know they're not actually related to him, but they don't have to be actually related to be family. It is all about their bonds. Besides, Jin was so a child to him. He allowed him to draw and color stuff a lot. I enjoyed it.

"What was it like to love a HumaGear? I do not understand the concept of love exactly. I do know what it is due to the description of it existing online and pictures, but I do not actually understand it myself."

What was it like to love someone like Horobi? Well, that is a difficult question. How am I supposed to answer how I felt each moment with him? It isn't the same as when I loved Allen at one point. Love is different depending on the person. I don't know how to quite explain that kind of thing properly.

"Different from loving a human. Well, it wasn't fully different. I couldn't go after physical intimacy with him since he wasn't into that kind of thing and it would be weird to sleep with him. I never thought about sleeping with him all night long." My face is on fire now. 

It is true that I wanted to be closer to Horobi, but I didn't want to drag him into bed with me. It isn't the right thing to do with a robot. I was fine just being around him and knowing that he wouldn't hurt me. It meant a lot to me. 

"And if he came back?" What is Abyss getting at with that? That I'll drop everything and go to him?

"I don't know what I would do if I saw him again. I think my heart would beat uncontrollably fast and I would freak out," I answer, looking her in the eyes. "Abyss, love is a difficult thing. And you know what? It can be beautiful and painful at the same time." I want to love again and I hope I can have that.