Senseless Abyss (Zero-One Fanfic)

-Chapter 165

-Chapter 165: Why You Gotta Be So Loud?

I stare at the base of Metsuboujinrai and swallow hard.

Last night I made a terrible decision and I have to live with that. I couldn't keep Horobi out of my mind with Aruto. There wasn't a thing that Aruto did wrong during sex. It was nice and felt really good, but I just couldn't help but worry about Horobi. Why did I think that would even work in the first place? I'm no better than Elise by doing that to someone. I feel so guilty right now for doing that to him. 

"Hey, Mari!"

I turn, my eyes landing on the former space Humagear. "R-Raiden?"

He places his hand over my mouth, covering it completely, and my eyes go wide. What in the world is this HumaGear doing right now? Who told him he could touch me? I'm too good to be touched by him! He has stopped me from telling him to get the hell away from me.

"I don't have time to hear what you have to say," he says, sounding a bit like a douchebag. "When I let your mouth go, you will shut up and not bother me."

He removes his hand from my mouth and I glare at him.

"Did you seriously have to do that? I hate your freaking robotic guts! What the hell is wrong with you? Did something shock you and turn you into a pile of hot metal?" I shout, my blood boiling. How can anyone like being around this idiot?

He steps closer to me, his eyes looking into mine coldly, and I step back a bit. "Mari, I don't even know why the Ark keeps me from doing anything to you. Just know if things were different, I would be destroying you right now." How would he even destroy me?

"I just got here," I spit out. "I haven't even done anything yet! But guess what? You don't even want to hear me talk despite that? Did I do something to piss you off already?" Does my face piss him off?

"You haven't really done anything to piss me. Your existence pisses me off though. It is frustrating having to put up with you because the Ark keeps me from touching you. I know all about your previous face and how you got plastic surgery to get rid of it," he says. So, he knows about that like everyone else? Good for him.

"Do you want a gold star for knowing the same thing as everyone else? It isn't like it isn't out there in the universe."

He laughs. "I don't need a gold star from you. Mari, I just want to know why you changed your face. I would look into it myself, but I rather not waste the energy. It wastes less energy to talk to you." Sure it does.

I look away from him, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "I had to change it."

"You got abused, right?"

"Yeah, I did." I look back at him. "Everyone knows that I did and it sucks having it out there. Everyone is probably thinking I'm insane for having stayed in such a relationship. Everyone else would have ran away faster than I did, but I stayed for all kinds of reasons."

I stayed in that marriage for children and I really thought at one point things would change. I believed that some miracle could happen, but it never came. There is no miracle in that kind of relationship other than finding a way out. I found mine from blackmail and changing my face and name. Well, I slightly changed my name.

"Your original face was nice. You should have kept it."

"I would be in that first marriage still if I did. You have no idea what it is like to run from something like that." It is awful dealing with that kind of thing. I didn't know if I would live or die when Allen got into one of his moods. "I hated it."

I felt on edge all the time and I'm sure I seemed like I had no emotion to those who did get to see me. I probably looked fake and it probably made them suspect something was wrong. Anyone who probably thought something was wrong probably got some fake story from Allen. Pretty sure he would tell them I felt sick or was upset over another miscarriage.