Gintama Is Love!

Past, Present and Future (Hijikata Toshiro)

(Y/N) sat in front of the mirror, her eyes glued to her own reflection with a look of sadness in it. Gently, she lifted her hand to touch her hair, then sliding it down to her cheek.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she bit her lip, feeling insecurity flooding into her mind as she looked at her reflection with a shred of hatred. "Why.....can't I be more refined like her?" Her voice, pained and broken croaked out sadly as she placed her hands on her chest feeling her heart swell with hurt.

Why couldn't she be more beautiful and graceful like Mitsuba?

"I......I'm not her."

---

(Y/N) lay quietly in Hijikata's room, laying on her stomach reading the lastest issue of JUMP— All thanks to a certain silver haired samurai that got her hooked on the JUMP much like he was. She glanced at Hijikata who was working on his paper works at his table, completely minding his own business like he was in a different world.

"...(Y/N)," he suddenly called out to her. She flinched before she turned to meet him with a questioning gaze, tilting her head slightly to the side. "Doesn't your hair bother you? Maybe you should tie it up." Hijikata shortly comments before resuming his work.

(Y/N)'s mouth slightly opened, her hands dropped the JUMP to the floor as she looked away, not wanting the male to see the face she made. 'He wants me to tie my hair up....like how Mitsuba did? Is it because I'm not pretty enough?' She bit her lip as she stood up, taking the JUMP in hand.

"I need some air. I'm going to town." She shortly informed before walking out of the male's room. Hijikata only glanced at her retreating figure with a brow raised in confusion. "...Did I say something wrong?"

----

"(Y/N), do you want some tabasco sauce?" Hijikata asked turning to (Y/N), they had one of their usual dates in a ramen shop and the man had casually asked her if she wanted some tabasco.

(Y/N)'s eyes widened, a faint memory coming to her mind when he mentioned so.

"Zaki-kun, why do you have so many spicy crackers?" (Y/N) asked Yamazaki who she spotted passing by with a handful of spicy crackers.

"Oh, (Y/N)-chan. Captain Okita's sister is here to visit. I heard she likes spicy things, like how Vice Chief is addicted to mayonnaise. So Captain Okita had ordered some spicy crackers with a lot of tabasco sauce. Do you want one, (Y/N)-chan?" Yamazaki offered, inching the handful of food closer to her.

"N-No thanks. Ahahahah, I'm allergic to spicy things." She smiled wryly as Yamazaki gasped. "O-Oh! S-Sorry, (Y/N)-chan! Then, I'll be on my way!"

"Toshi....I'm allergic to spicy things." She muttered lowly, turning her head away from Hijikata with an empty gaze. "O-Oh, I forgot....Sorry." Hijikata says as he quickly bowed his head to her.

"No....It's fine." She forced a smile on her lips as she started eating her food, not turning or talking to Hijikata while she did so.

'I'm not her. I don't like spicy things. I'm.....not her.'

-----

(Y/N) looked up at the gentle gleam of the moonlight which graced her figure as she sat on the porch outside of her room in the Shinsengumi Quarters. She was a doctor there so she had to always be on call, thus leading to her living with them.

She let out a deep sigh, and then she felt light footsteps approach her. "Sougo, why are you up so late?" She asked, not even turning to the male whose eyes widened slightly in shock, she knew it was him when he didn't even utter a single word nor did she turn her head to look at him.