My Best Friend the Rockstar (Book 1 Steel Wolf Collection)

Chapter 39

*trigger warning talk of abuse and suicided*

What I find is not at all what I was expecting. Tray was slumped over on the couch with a half empty bottle of Jack. I shut the door and stand there a moment studying him. He reminds me of some of my students who were feeling lost and alone. The ones that the world had forgotten and threw away. My heart breaks for him.

"You just going to stand there or are you going to sit down," Tray slurs without removing his eyes from the floor.

"Depends," I tell him crossing my arms.

"On what?"

"How you are going to treat me?" I try to block the concern and pity from my voice. If he is anything like my students the last thing he will want to hear in my voice is pity.

He finally glances up at me in confusion and tries to focus on me. Oh Tray what are you doing to yourself. What darkness are you carrying with you? What happened to cause you to be like this? I knew his happy go lucky attitude was a defense mechanism.

"I'm not going to tell you off as long as you don't try to fix me or tell me everything is going to be okay. I'm tried of that saying , but I'm more fucking tired of people trying to fix me. I know I'm broken and fucked up. I don't need them reminding me." He rants in a broken voice. Yep, he's just like my forgotten students. No one deserves to be forgotten. I'm going to have to tread lightly with him.

"Can I have a drink?" I ask pointing to the bottle and ignoring his outburst.

He studies me in confusion for a moment. I can tell that was not at all the question he was expecting. He stretches out his arm with the bottle, "help yourself. But I don't have a chaser."

I shrug my shoulders taking the bottle from him, "don't need one. A buddy of mine taught me to take shots of Jack without. Told me one day I would be able to use this skill to impress the male population. Guess that day is today." I raise the bottle to my lips and take a drink.

"Not going to lie Sky you just became ten times hotter than you already are. Dimitri is one lucky bastard." He leans back against the couch and closes his eyes.

I sit next to him and place the bottle on the coffee table. "Want to talk about what's on your mind or just sit here wallowing in self pity? I've got nothing but time while Dimitri is working so I'm good either way." I try to keep my voice free from emotion. He needs to make the decision for himself and I will respect whatever decision he picks.

"Not really much to tell," he says dryly.

I prop my feet up in the coffee table careful to not knock the bottle over and lean back next to him. "So we are wallowing in self pity then? Sounds good to me. I could use a good wallow. Its been awhile."

"What that fuck could you possible have to wallow about?" Tray asks opening one eye to look at me.

"I may enjoy reading Tray, but I'm not a complete open book. I have my darkness too."

"Enlighten me," he pushes me.

"Nope," I say shaking my head. "You my friend decided on wallowing in self pity. So we shall wallow and not talk about our shadows."

Tray lapses into a silence and I watch his inner struggle through his facial expressions. "I've never had a female friend before," he says softly.

I sit up and sit with my legs crossed underneath me on the couch facing him. "What about Aubree?"

He shakes his hands, "she's in her own category. She's our manager and sure we are tight, but there is always that line you know?"

I place my hand on his arm and when he doesn't finch away I leave it there. "Now that I do know."