ONESHOTS <TAEKOOK>

Burden 🥀

>Jungkook is alone in his room, struggling with a disorder which was not easy to tackle by himself. He wanted to call his boyfriend but he didn't want to be a burden, till finally he knew he needed the help<
Mentions of-
•Trichotillomania ⚠️ ~a form or self harm~
•Anxiety
•Depression

Any form of self harm is not a joke, and I want to tell you if you're going through something like this you're never alone. I'm here for all of you, keep fighting 💗

Jungkook sat in front of his mirror looking at himself. He bit his lip anxiously and bounced his knee up and down. His face paled and his hands became sweaty. His eyes watered as he grabbed the tweezers which was hidden deep inside his desk draw. He leant over so his face was up close to the mirror. He brought it up to his face and began plucking a few eyelashes. His eyes spilled out tears, which rolled down his face. He felt his chest tighten as he looked at himself. He didn't feel pretty, he had barely any eyelashes which was his own fault, but that just made him even more insecure. He screamed loudly and threw the tweezers across the floor in anger.

Jungkook has trichotillomania, a hair pulling disorder due to anxiety/depression. He has been suffering with it for around 5 years now, and no matter how hard he tries he can't seem to stop. All the doctors tell him, 'you'll grow out of it' or 'just try to stop', but it's not that easy. He'll stop for a few weeks and then all of a sudden he'll completely relapse. He has a boyfriend, Taehyung , the best boyfriend he could ever ask for. He knew about the disorder and was always there for him. But Jungkook just felt like a burden, he found it hard to express into words how he was feeling in the time he does it. It was like his whole body, and emotions went completely numb. His therapist would always ask 'what do you feel when you do it?', 'what makes you want to do it?' and so on, but he doesn't know. He can't explain it, and that makes him even more frustrated.

He brought his hands up to his face as if he was going to pluck another, but he was quick to slap his face to stop himself. He sat on his hands and nibbled his lips. But it wasn't working. This was one of the worst relapses he's ever had in months. He looked at his phone which was sat on his bed. He quickly jumped up from his place and grabbed his phone, sitting back on the floor. His hands shook as he fumbled to his contacts. He scrolled down till he found the contact he was so desperate for. He pressed the call button and within two rings it went through.

"Hey baby" a voice rasped through the phone.
"H-hyungie please come over, I-I need you" Jungkook cried through the phone.
"I'm on my way baby, I'll be there in 10 minutes" Taehyung spoke in a rush.
He ended the call and looked at himself in the mirror. He ran his hands through his hair stressfully and let the tears flow down his cheeks. His legs shook frantically and he tried everything to stop himself.

Not long later the doorbell went. Jungkook heard his mum open the door and greet his boyfriend. He heard Taehyung greet his mother before running upstairs to his room. He heard the footsteps stop outside his door and he heard a knock.
"Come in" Jungkook sobbed knowing it was his boyfriend.
The door gently opened and the person walked in, shutting the door straight behind him. Jungkook jumped up from the floor with his legs shaking and jumped into Taehyung's body. Taehyung circled his arms around the younger's body, and held him tight.

He pressed sweet kisses on the younger's head repetitively.
"It's okay baby" Taehyung whispered sweet words for the boy to calm him down.
Taehyung waddled them to the bed and he sat down with Jungkook wrapped around him. He shuffled back so his back was resting against the head board while Jungkook sat on his lap, with his legs around the boys hips. Taehyung rubbed his hands on the boys back softly, trying his best to calm the younger down.
"You're doing so well baby, you're so strong and so so brave" Taehyung whispered.
Jungkook nodded his head and he nuzzled his face into the boys neck. He held his hands together in a tight grip and Taehyung was quick to notice. So he took the younger's hands into his own and laced them together to stop the boy from touching his face.

Jungkook had stopped crying and finally pulled his head out of Taehyung's neck. He looked at Taehyung's face with glistening eyes.
Taehyung looked at him and noticed the boy had relapsed. Taehyung leant forwards and saw that Jungkook had shut his eyes. He pressed a soft kiss on the younger's eye lid and another kiss on the other side. He then pulled away and tucked some hair behind his ear.
"Don't stress, you're beautiful no matter what okay" Taehyung said softly knowing that the younger was probably stressing. "I love you so much okay, you're perfect"
"I love you too" Jungkook sniffed resting his forehead on Taehyung's.

Jungkook felt that feeling of irritation in his eyes and the tingling in his fingers. Jungkook's breath became erratic. Taehyung looked at Jungkook and saw that he was turning pale. Taehyung was quick to reach into the younger's bedside draw and pull out a big squishy toy which he used to distract himself. He gave it to the boy and he quickly began squeezing it. But the feeling was still there.
"I can't stop thinking about it" Jungkook sniffed, trying to change his thoughts.
Taehyung understood and held the back of Jungkook's neck, pulling him into a kiss. Jungkook quickly responded and kissed back. Tae bit down on the boys bottom lip, before pushing his tongue into the younger's mouth. Jungkook focused on the kiss and drowned out the overwhelming thoughts he felt so suffocated with.

Taehyung pulled away and looked at the younger. Taehyung peppered the boys face with small kisses, making Jungkook giggle softly.
"There we go" Taehyung smiled softly.
Jungkook leaned back in and kissed the elders lips once again. They repeated small soft kisses while Jungkook held the squishy in his hands to occupy himself. They continued this until Jungkook fully calmed down.

"We've got school tomorrow so you need to sleep" Taehyung instructed, placing a kiss on Jungkook's lips.
"Can you stay?" Jungkook asked fiddling with the elders fingers.
"Of course darling" Taehyung said as he shuffled down on the bed and pulled the duvet over the top of them.
Jungkook stayed on top of him and placed his head against the boys chest. The two drifted off to sleep in a tight grip.

When they woke up the started getting ready. Taehyung grabbed one of his shirts Jungkook had stolen previously. Jungkook was fully changed and was nearly ready for school. He was doing his make up, and looked at himself with teary eyes. Taehyung sighed and went towards him. He turned the boy around to face him and Jungkook looked up at him. Taehyung took the eye liner out of the boys hands and brought it up to his face. The elder placed one hand on the younger's cheek while the other was close to his eye. He delicately ran the eyeliner pen across the place where his eyelashes would sit, and did a small wing at the side. He repeated the same on the other side, and fixed it to make it even.

Jungkook did his make up like this so from a distance it looked as if he had eyelashess, but if someone was up close it was obvious that he didn't. Taehyung has done it a few times for the boy when he was struggling the most. He didn't care that the boy didn't have eyelashes, he loved him nevertheless.

When he finished Taehyung placed the eyeliner pen on the counter. He cupped the boys cheeks and pressed a kiss on his lips.
"It'll be okay, I'm here for you" Taehyung caressed his cheeks and softly smiled.
Jungkook nodded and smiled back.
"There we go beautiful, there's the cute smile I love" Taehyung chuckled seeing the younger blush.
"Now let's go, we're gonna be late" Taehyung said lacing their hands together and pulling him out the boys room.