ⒾⓇⓄⓃⒹⒶⒹ/ⓈⓅⒾⒹⒺⓇⓈⓄⓃ & ⓈⓊⓅⒺⓇⒻⒶⓜⒾⓁⒺⓎ ⓄⓃⒺ ⓈⒽⓄⓉⓈ

Chapter 134: If I Could Fly

(Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a sad one, so buckle up, get your tissues, your fluffy blankets, and hold your stuffed animals close. And again I'm skipping some lyrics because they repeat the same words.)

Anyway on with the story.
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If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you.

Peter picked up some flowers from a local shop, he left, thanking the woman behind the counter. He took a long walk to the New York Cemetery, thinking about what he was going to say, or just what he was going to do. It was pouring cats and dogs, luckily he had an umbrella, although it was typical for it to be raining the one time he goes to see his family.

I think I might give up everything, just ask me to. Peter felt guilty, it had been a year since Tony died, there wasn't an excuse for not visiting his grave. Even after all these years he still finds it difficult to go and talk to him, I guess it's because he's gone, he'd only wish for it to be a dream. As Peter walked through the cemetery he found Tony's grave, it was littered with thousands of tributes, from cards to Iron Man plushies.

Pay attention I hope that you listen, cause I let my guard down, right now I'm completely defenseless. Peter had no idea how he made it for the last year, he kept asking himself: "Why me?" It confused him, why did Tony give up everything for him? A sixteen year old boy at the time, what was so special about him? For your eyes only, I show you my heart.

The immeasurable feeling of living up to someone who made a huge impact on the world like Tony, scared the crap out of Peter, Tony was a legend, how could he live up to that? How could he be himself but also make sure the public could trust him? Peter felt childish whenever he'd ask himself those questions, if Tony were here he'd be telling him the opposite, that he wasn't in the grey area anymore.

Everyone keeps telling Peter that Tony picked him for a reason, Peter felt as if he shouldn't have been picked at all, he was the reason Tony sacrificed himself anyway! But the real question was why did he? Peter couldn't understand it, why did Tony sacrifice his life, his friends, his family, for something that had a low success rate? For when you're lonely, and forget who you are.

Tony had no idea how much of Peter's life had changed, he wished the world's weight would just be lifted off of his shoulders. Life would be much simpler right? Wrong, Peter has a bad habit of blaming himself for something he had no control over and had no part in. That didn't stop him from blaming himself because of Tony's death, I'm missing half of me, when we're apart.

Peter set the flowers down, reading his tombstone; Anthony Stark, a loving husband, father, and beloved superhero. As he stood there awkwardly, he sighed, not knowing how to talk. "Hey Mr. Star- I mean Tony, first off I'm sorry for not visiting often. There isn't an excuse, and even if there was it'd be something stupid." He finally spoke. Now you know me, for your eyes only.

"I honestly don't know what to do, everything's just falling apart. I feel so lost, I'm angry that I trusted someone like Beck, I'm sad because I have to stay away from everyone I love. I'm not supposed to be here but I needed to talk to someone about this." Peter's grip tightened on his umbrella, as tears of frustration were falling from his face.

I've got scars, even though they can't always be seen. He couldn't believe he was weeping, crying over his problems, his pathetic attempts at trying to fix everything when in reality he would never be able to. He hated breaking down like he was doing at that moment, he felt like a coward. I can feel your heart inside of mine, I feel it, I feel it.

Peter sobbed, "I feel like I'm going crazy, I want to protect everyone, but I can't." Peter wished things were different, he wished Tony was alive, he wished Tony could tell him what to do.

I've been goin' out of my mind. If Peter could, he'd go back in time and talk to Tony to figure all of this out. It sucked, knowing he was helpless, knowing how he let everyone down, knowing how much of a failure he felt like. It sucked, it truly sucked. Know that I'm just wastin' time, and I hope that you don't run from me.

"I don't know how I'm going to get through all of this in one piece, it's so overwhelming. I'm sorry for wasting your time, at this point I'm just talking to myself." Peter sighed, taking one long last look at Tony's grave and turning on his heels before walking away from the cemetery.

For your eyes only.
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The End of Chapter 134