ⒾⓇⓄⓃⒹⒶⒹ/ⓈⓅⒾⒹⒺⓇⓈⓄⓃ & ⓈⓊⓅⒺⓇⒻⒶⓜⒾⓁⒺⓎ ⓄⓃⒺ ⓈⒽⓄⓉⓈ

Chapter 100: British? Part 2 a request by gif-amani

(Alright, this is the first time this chapter has ever been asked for as a Part 2. Anyway I wanted to incorporate Tom's most british moments so I guess the format is like the blooper chapters I wrote. And if you remember Peter's accent it's written in italics, and if you didn't now you do.)

Anyway on with the story!
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As Tony and Peter sat in the living room playing Mario Kart, Tony was winning of course. Simply because Peter barely plays video games. He spoke in a jokingly evil tone, "You should be afraid of me, I destroy everything I touch."

Peter laughed, "You bought a huge teddy bear for your girlfriend, now wife. You put a parachute in my suit and a protocol to keep me from hurt."

"You also built Rhodey knee braces so he could walk again, you forgave Steve after he betrayed you. You give Morgan juice pops after her bedtime."

Mia who was sitting in a chair, with a book in front of her face chimed in, "Oh and you stopped production of weapons after seeing what happened with terrorists, among more."

"So excuse us mister if we're not shaking in our boots."

And when they look over at the genius, playboy, philanthropist all he does is smile at them.
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Loki walked in the kitchen from coming from the library, seeing Peter eating a bowl of cereal at three in the afternoon. Why? No one will ever know. He realized he's never known where Peter is from.

"Peter?" He questioned.

"What's up Loki?" Peter asked.

"Where are you from?"

"I'm a native of Southwest London darling." Peter replied.

"What is this Southwest London?" Peter then began to explain for the next few hours about his region of London he's from.
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After Steve made everyone breakfast they sat at the dining room table and began to eat. They were having a standard breakfast, consisting of eggs, bacon, and croissants with the addition of milk and orange juice.

"Could someone pass me a croissant please?" Peter asked.

Everyone turned to him, "A what kiddo?" Tony asked.

Peter sighed, "A croissant." He repeated.

"What's a quakson?" Sam asked.

Peter shook his head and pointed to the freshly baked croissants sitting on a plate. "Oh a croissant." Steve said.

Peter groaned, "That's literally what I just said."

"No you said quakson." Wanda said.

"No I didn't, I said croissant. Why are you saying quakson?"

"Because you said quakson!" Thor exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh you all are a bunch of half wits! I said croissant go get your hearing checked!" Peter yelled.
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As Peter walked through the cafeteria he saw Liz hanging up a huge banner written in big bold letters HOMECOMING. He stared at it confusedly and decided to ask Ned what it was about.

"Ned, what's a homecoming?"

"It's just a high school dance, I don't know, this year will be my first time going since I didn't go last year."

"In London we call it prom."

"Oooo what do you do at prom?"

"Well they sell booze at the prom, but don't worry I don't drink alcohol." Peter reassured his friend.
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In the kitchen Tony was making coffee while Peter and Mia were writing down notes for their homework. "Hey Peter wanna have some coffee?" Tony asked.

"Do you really think caffeine is good for him? You're practically giving him steroids." Mia said.

"No thank you Mr. Stark. I'll just take a cuppa tea please."

Mia sighed, "Thank the lord."

Peter laughed, "I drink tea darling."
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As everyone sat in the board meeting Peter stood up and decided to give his presentation, nobody knew why he made it but he did, with the help of Mia being his assistant. He paid her five dollars an hour, considering that's all he had.

"Right, how to be british, One: tea, Two: Yorkshire tea, Three: swear in every sentence, Four: say 'Lad', 'Mate', 'Darling', and 'Love'. Five: Get very angry in debates on whether the water or milk goes in first, (IT'S WATER AND IF YOU SAY THAT'S NOT CORRECT I'LL DROWN YOU IN MY PROPERLY MADE CUPPA)."

"Six: switch between tea and cuppa, Seven: always complain about the weather and how cold it is, and why the heck it's raining again... Eight: complain whenever it's above ten degrees, Nine: have a sports direct mug you didn't even know you had, Ten: have a nan that offers you biscuits."

"Eleven: eat Gregg's, Twelve: Gregg's is life and never forget that, Thirteen: always apologize for knocking into anything, Fourteen: get mad when you realize you forgot something with that tesco meal, but be too awkward to go back so you pay the extra anyway."

"Fifteen: make anything you say into an insult by putting 'absolute' in front of it. Eg. "You absolute muffin top", Sixteen: having a fit when you see tik toks saying this is how to make british tea and it's just completely wrong and how dare they slander and disgrace tea like that."

"And finally consume more tea than they threw in the Boston Harbour." After Peter's done he and Mia walk out of the room, and the rest of the team are just sitting there.

"What the heck was that?" Rhodey asked.

"I honestly don't know, but did anyone else hear that last part about the Boston Harbour?" Natasha asked.
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The End of Chapter 100