Kohnnies One Shot

Part Twenty-Five ~Kohnnie #20~

There is a trigger warning, if you are easily trigger I will avoid this one-shot, skip over it. 

Death can be a terrible thing some peaceful some painful, but in the end, sometimes it doesn't even matter. Some kids give in to death by suicide. And...I... Kyle David Hall gives in to death.

~~~Flashback~~~

"You're such a faggot Hall," Damon laughed kicking the living shit out of me.

Bullying can be a reason why people kill themselves, and I have eight reasons why. I'll be sure to tell you along the way. Well here's number one. I was always bullied as you could tell and no one helped me no one gave a damn. The teacher doesn't even try to stop it; they were bystanders just like all the other students.

Reason Two I was abused at home ever since my mother died.

"It's your fault," My dad yelled kicking the living shit out of me. I looked at my brother for help.

"P-Please help." I reached up for him hoping he would grab my hand but another kick to my stomach.

"Don't talk to my son you worthless faggot,"

You might wonder why my dad called me that right? Well, surprise I'm gay, and he disowned me for that. He told me he doesn't want a faggot for a son. Reason Three my crush knew as the most popular guy at school Johnnie Guilbert doesn't know I exist. 

He always hanging out with his girlfriend Alex Dorame just the name makes me want to vomit. Don't get me wrong she's pretty and all, but she seems like one those girls that would sleep around with every guy. You may wonder what I think about Alex well yes she's pretty, but she's a fucking bitch. Every time I was in the hall, she would rub up on Johnnie.

Reason Four rumors had been spreading around school. No one knew I was gay. Yeah, they called me a faggot, but they didn't know I was one. That was until I came out to my best friend Bryan and now he bullies me along with all the other dumbasses, but hey it was all my fault. Bryan and I used to be close he was hay too, but of course, he played it off like he was straight. 

No one knew the real Bryan the kind loving Bryan everyone knew the asshole Bryan.

Reason Five, Have you ever felt so damn worthless that you take a blade to your wrist. Have you ever felt so fat that you have been skipping meals? Will I have. I felt so worthless constantly getting abuse at school and home.

I started cutting. I was in the hospital three times. I was placed on suicide watch but hell that is not going to work. I would grab my dad pills bottle, and of course, I would overdose, but that never works I would always wake up the next morning. I would get called fat by the people at school. I would never eat at lunch or home, and when I do, I would always throw it back up.

Reason six, Ever had anyone judge you for one stupid mistake. Everywhere I got I get judged, and it would always be for the littlest of things, but hey no one cares right. No one care as long as it not them.

They can continuously pick on someone and feel no pain NOT UNTIL THAT PERSON GETS SO FUCKING TIRED AND GIVE UP!!! I'm giving up I'm slowly losing myself. I wake up in the middle of the night crying myself back to sleep and all you asshole thinks it funny.

No one has no god damn feelings just because I'm different because I'm gay you think you can pick on me. I hope you are listening to this cause once this tape is over I hope you shove it up your goddamn ass!!

Reason Seven, You think it's okay to go around laughing at someone who was used against their will. You consider it fucking fun? I sit in the corner every night screaming wishing it was just a nightmare but it was fucking real, and I can't get past that. Do you think it funny?

Do you think I was trying to get attention? You were the one that wanted attention. I would wake up screaming pulling at my hair wetting the bed having to relive the moments in my dreams every fucking night! Do you know what that's like? To wake up in the middle of the night scaring the thought of kissing razors?

Reason eight, People me walk around telling me to kill myself. So I am this world would be a much better place without me. I placed the gun to my head saying thanks to everyone that caused this, and I pulled the trigger. "BANG"

I paused the tape. I couldn't believe I haven't seen it before. I was so stupid. I know he existed; I was too scared to talk to him. I should have every day I would see Damon pick on him and I was scared to stand up. And now I will have to suffer from the fact that I Johnnie Guilbert caused Kyle David Hall suicide not only me but the whole school.

AND NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME!

~~~The end~~~