The Book of Voltaire 5 VOLUMED BUNDLE

Book I - Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – ALUCARD DRACULA

As always, I never practiced eating humans. I practiced feeding on cattle's blood from the local butcher. I spent the days in college being the best at what I do. I have a few friends, barely made any. I wasn't anything special since my types of people are here anyway. I spent the nights studying hard. The first day in that university gave me a total mental breakdown not going to lie about that. I thought I was superiorly smart and intelligent, full of creative intuition. Turns out I was lesser than these people in Harvard and they know better English than I do. But hey, it felt like I was the first Filipino to make it here at Harvard. At least that's what I think.

But that is not something to boast about, to be honest.

I spent all day and night, studying my best and hardest as I could. Then Semester break happened. What I did was write novels non-stop for the whole week. Then back at Harvard, the 2nd semester. Then the Holiday Season came, and it was snowing this time. First time I saw snow in reality. In my own real-life eyes! It was beautiful but terribly cold!

I wish I had time for my niece. But I never do. Soon enough my big brother made it to make his own restaurant as I hope it becomes a huge company. Then, the year ended. It was summer at the time. Finally, my own favorite heat, it's like Christmas in the Philippines here. Elijah is now studying in kindergarten though. I had the time to teach her good English. She became better than me eventually. I feel so proud of her. However, I myself felt lonely inside. Not the same loneliness as I had when I was 21 looking for an eternal bride online. But... this spiritual loneliness. So, I prayed.

If only I studied business courses instead of Psychiatry, I could help my big brother run the business and manage everything for him. But I chose Psychiatry. I feel exhausted, tired, depressed and back again worse than I was when I was trapped inside that wretched house we renovated a long time ago... I wonder how mom and dad are doing? I called them on messenger. No one's answering... they must be asleep. I'm so stupid...!

I'm going on a spiral of insanity. So, I went to get an appointment with a psychiatrist.

A few days later at the appointment...

"Mister Olimpo."

"Please, just call me James."

"Alright then, James."

We had a 1-hour conversation discussing how I feel. He told me I'm going through a mental breakdown thanks to my studies and I've been pushing myself too hard thanks to my superiority complex that I thought I was smart made me feel inferior to everyone after joining Harvard. His theory goes that I thought I was the smartest thanks to the average IQ of most Filipinos being below 50, but I am at an IQ of 250. Shocking right? Vampyric intelligence really.

Then I found myself part of a university who also happened to be a lot smarter than I was. I felt myself becoming inferior to them which drove me to study harder to be at the top but did not manage to make it. So, he gave me a reality check. I'm not perfect. I am not a god, I am maybe talented and quirky but however, I have my own flaws. So... this had me to the conclusion that I don't need anyone's approval because I told him my backstory of my past where I always looked for my father's approval just to prove myself in order to get outside of the house for once under house arrest after being arrested for fighting back against my bullies in high school wielding a knife at them where I called it "self-defense" because they were too many of them for me to fight alone and had a knife by my side, not going to lie it even had its own name I just so happen to forget what it was. I was trapped inside the mental asylum for a month then got discharged because I was too much for them, so my father had to take me under house arrest for a lifetime no matter what. Until I get better eventually, they can't keep me here forever. So, my big brother convinced them after giving them a reality check of their own as well. Depressed and misunderstood, not bad and evil. So, I don't need to study too hard, I can just study normally, as much for the likes of being casual. Having this... psychopathic tendency gives me some sort of superiority/inferiority complex. I was diagnosed with ASPD, Antisocial Personality Disorder AKA a Psychopath/Sociopath. With narcissistic behavior. It was developed during childhood thanks to my father... but what my father did to me during childhood will remain a mystery forever. All I can say is that he has neglected my emotional needs all my life. That is all.