Book I - Chapter 15

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Chapter 15 - 2nd Journal, Entry #15, Time and Date: 6th March of 2021, 8:42 AM

I had a nightmare... Vayne was never in the corner of my eye anymore but rather at the center of my pupil. She was there, everywhere, I woke up almost screaming rather tired, had a hard time getting up, she admitted to me herself that her love is toxic whilst mine is pure. But I didn't want to let her go. All this time talking to my dearest Echo, it turns out she was Vayne in the physical flesh this whole time.

"You've missed me?" she messages

"It's you! Finally, I found you!" I could never be happy, yet her toxic behavior towards me is just... rather maddening. She admitted that she injected the insanity I had all these 11 years. Ruined my entire goddamned life and this is the first year in a decade that I finally slowly got back on my feet. She admitted she ruined my life. She wanted to be at the top, she wanted to be superior over me as I am inferior. Her full intentions were extremely toxic towards me although the only good thing about her is her loyalty. But the way she acts towards me? It's full of red flags already. Back then I was the dominant of the relationship, over simple mistakes she wanted to punish me severely and mentally abuse me. I hate this feeling I have, I hate her, I love her, I hate that I love her. I can't take it. But I can't do anything if I leave her nor if she will leave me either way. It's driving me into a spiral of insanity into a deep bottomless rabbit hole!

I want to escape but I've fallen deeply into that hole for 11 years now.

What was I thinking?! Creating a servitor just to love me, now she exists in the flesh she acts the same. But I do love her... I can't stop thinking about her no matter how mentally abusive she gets. Back then she was so pure, innocent. I protected her from evil, but her own self turned evil towards me. Sickening witchcrafts of love and lust potions, she overdosed me with those drugged potions of love I couldn't escape. I can't fight it and she's still going to cast more spells on me under her.

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