The Book of Voltaire 5 VOLUMED BUNDLE

FINAL ACT - Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - The True Ending

I have to be unemployed not to take any jobs especially when it comes to health for at least a year or two, maybe three and have to take Prozac, an antidepressant that's used for persistent depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I was taken to another doctor at that time since my previous doctor have died from an old age. He's pretty old for a psychiatrist. He never retired. Honors to him, and my condolences to his family and relatives and loved ones. I wanted to visit where he is because he was the only one that helped me throughout my years of house arrest that actually understands. He tried to convince my father to lift up the house arrest in the first year after I got discharged off the asylum after a month later but my father never did. That was around 2017, I think? I don't remember. I have severe post-trauma and chronic loneliness at this time. Prozac used to help me during my days before its side effects fucked up my gut but the truth was, I had anorexia that's what caused my vomiting, it's almost like Bulimia but worse. I explained my symptoms about my anorexia due to too much depressive stress and gave me Prozac as the best optional drug we have. I took it, drank Laotian, and then drank triple shot espresso homemade by myself. I smoked inside the house at the balcony of my room. Sunshine was on my face and it felt amazing. Back then in 2021 of March I always hissed at the sunlight but not anymore, my delusions got over me thanks to too much escapism turned into avoidance then lastly to delusional schizophrenia. My dose on Prozac was high, max dose a day. It was just one pill for the day, and benzos for the night. Well, that's only optional if I want to drink it it's prescribed still but if I don't want to sleep it's okay not to drink the benzos. I barely get addicted to these kinds of stuff which was Xanax. It's for my anxiety if I ever get anxiety attacks, I need at least a ⅓ of one bar of it but since I need my focus and my coordination for my works in writing manuscripts I don't have to, unless I get another anxiety attack. I know this sounds kind off odd and messed up, medications are not supposed to be this way but my mind is different. The benzos are only optional, but taking the Prozac is something I really need. It's a happy pill. But still, even if I take that happy pill there is still a dread of depression and grief with sorrow inside of my soul and happy psychedelic trance festival party inside my head. I used to take Prozac and it works more than a hundred percent to take away my depression instantly after a few minutes taking the pill, sometimes I would feel like I'm on THC. But nowadays, it's barely working. So, I had to ask my big brother to take me to a psychologist as well since psychiatrists only give medications but no therapy at all. He told me he doesn't have money and I should just rely on the meds. I don't even have much money anymore either. I stopped working... for a long time now.

The only things I get are my basic essential needs, my 3 rims of cigarettes per week, high quality coffee per month, and of course I'm the one to go pay bills since I'm the one loves strolling around Guagua. It takes me to Santa Rita but there's already a place where you can pay all of your bills at once in the same time to an internet cafe here. I can't believe it's still barely occupied, back then during my High School days I have to wait at least 2-3 hours until I get my turn for a vacant seat for me to use one computer just to play League of Legends and or DotA 2 since my computer was too slow to run games and our internet was slow at the time. Now I have an upgraded PC and have all of the steam cards given to me by my dear friends on discord, Hell! I even get free Nitro and PayPal donations. I get money by self-publishing books on Amazon Kindle but the non-edited versions are on Wattpad for those who wants a bad version of my books. Well at least it's free anyway but since I've been a bestseller on Amazon Kindle, I stopped playing around Wattpad and deleted all of my works there and along with my account. I use my own money to get access to do my own things and buy my own aesthetics. Even clothing. Still, nothing beats a good goddamned beer.

Night time. Instead of passing out on Xanax, I grabbed an entire case of Redhorse and chugged on them and smoked. I got so drunk I passed out during the night.

Next morning, still the same, I must be back at the backrooms again... I spent the day at least to go outside for once. I haven't gone outside in a week or two, I guess? So, I wore my polo shirt and my tux pants, my snakeskin boots, my fedora and headed outside. My entire attire was all black. I went outside for a stroll. Everyone greeted me as Dr. aula. Which was a huge joke I made up on my birthday since I am a doctor, and everyone started to call me Dr. aula. Oh, that's right, today's my appointment which I so happened to check my phone for the time and saw the date. I went back at home to grab my prescription and grabbed my wallet and headed outside along with my IDs. My PWD ID is expired and I don't need it anymore anyway. It expires every 3 years and needs to be renewed. But dad never renewed it anymore. He says it shows the reputation of myself as a disabled person just because I have depression. So, I asked my big brother to ride me to the hospital clinic at San Fernando which isn't JBL this time. It's Ferdinand Hospital Building which is quite near to the JBL. It's in Downtown, well, sort of, the road there is on the way to Downtown which is just a walking distance from the building.

He took me a ride there and he parked. I told him to wait for me inside the car as I get into the hospital and wait for my turn but good thing, I'm number 1 in the appointment so I just headed inside. The doctor was already there. They had to check my blood pressure and it was high as usual again. Shit I don't want to take hypertension pills, I always excuse to them that I just overdose on caffeine which I usually do every day but I'm fine with it. The nurse says not to do that which she strongly recommends. I told her I need it to focus because I have major depression. And then went inside the Doctor's office.

She asked me how I've been. The usual I replied. She asked me if I do anything. Noting anymore at least. I just write books. She told me that's good to have a hobby, she asked me if I feel any side effects on my first month of Prozac. I told her it's great, it used to work efficiently and highly effective back then when I first took it, but drinking it again after long years? Not so much. So, she wanted to add a new antidepressant which she told me it's been approved by the FDA in the Philippines.

"It's Wellbutrin, isn't it?"

"Have you been always researching these medications?"

"I used to, when I was way worse during 2020. But now I just write books nothing less nothing more. I'm just some weird psychic that knows too much."

"A psychic. I have a few patients who pretend to be psychics but yes they do know too much about this world it drives them crazy."

"Indeed so... those are called Lunaces. Crazy people who know too much. But don't take that as a new diagnosis. That's just some occult thing I studied when I was younger."

"I see. Alright then. I'll replace your Prozac with Wellbutrin but if you ever drink this. Please lower your caffeine intake. Okay? Especially no energy drinks. I strongly advise you that!"

"Thank you, doctor."

"No problem Prince Alucard."

I exited the building and asked my big bro to drive me to the nearest pharmacy.

I exited the car dropping off to the intersection of San Fernando to see the pharmacy, it was half full since it's still early in the morning. I bought my pills and drank my Wellbutrin instantly since I really need a working antidepressant. It's not a happy pill, but it has both serotonin and dopamine boost, it helps quitting smoking as well but I don't plan to quit no matter what. I can't believe after all these years I've been searching this drug everywhere it's finally here...!

I paid for my pills and then went back home with my big brother.

We had a conversation but I barely talked. He told me what happened to the good ol' crazy vampire kid that I used to be? I told him he's dead, I'm human now. But I think I'm lesser than that. He told me I still do drink blood from the fridge, since they can't afford any more blood bags from the bank, they just ask for free blood from local butchers around the village.

"It tastes like shit. I want human. Or... perhaps, need."

He went quiet and we drove all the way back to San Juan Nepo.

The onset of this part of the story is quite gloomy, and a bit boring as well. No climax, or anything. No progression to the story, no plot as well when I used to put lots of plot twists to put plot holes by accident which I need my editor to fix...

I went to sleep... and had a dream... of my past since I was vaccinated in the first day... what really happened and how it ended up this way... just so I can remember