The Book of Voltaire 5 VOLUMED BUNDLE

Book I - Chapter 13

Chapter 13 - Predictable Chapter

You guessed it; I woke up. But this time, I fell asleep thanks to my emotional stress and depression. Thanks to my hidden ability to easily attract a crowd of toxic people wherever I go on the internet, even in real life. I should be careful. I fell asleep crying over Trauma core videos to help me cope with my post-traumatic stress, and as well for my dream-reality confusion, it has led me to give me sweet dreams of a home that never existed, or did it exist in my childhood that I no longer remember except for my subconsciousness? Since I do not remember my childhood since I was turned by the age of 11 as a vampire, I went mad. Slowly crippling into the spiral insanity of oblivion. Then here I am waking up on the 6th of March, 2021...

An unexpected visit happened, although there were no recurring dreams again. There was no vaccine, and people still continued working here as a matter of fact. I always saw in my dreams that I always leave the house just to go to Town. I don't even remember any of those events anymore, just the same old introduction before the real story of the chapter begins. Then here I am playing good ol' gmod that I paid for on steam on my computer. I remember that father gave me at least 500 Pesos for a steam card he bought for me just a few walks away here in an internet cafe. I never played it anymore after spending countless hours in it in a day until father and I watched Bram Stoker's Dracula on Netflix then I had the adrenaline surge to write non-stop thanks to the inspiration by Bram Stoker. And today we had an unexpected visit, Cristian's brother, a professional barber, and a tattoo artist, cousin Benjie. He went to visit here once when Cristian went drunk and tried to exorcise me that night. He saw the Devil in my eyes. But it was rather a very short time of visit indeed, he just had to ask Cristian to pay back 500 pesos that he borrowed from him while the reason for his debt remains a mystery. For the reckless Catholic he turned out to be the drunken person he is, he spent all of the salaries of his work here for nothing but beer and got drunk easily. He even lost his wallet too many times in one day as well. Then Benjie left to go back home. And now he is back since my father called him to cut his and or my hair. Since there is renovation, we can't leave the house for a long time since our money and our belongings are there. Especially the previous novels I've written so far in my life. Sadly, most of them are gone and all I have left now is Luciferius Luna manuscripts and this new manuscript I am writing right now that you are reading right now which is Stella Dei Saga. After Benjie's arrival, he had a short talk with Cristian. Benjie's wife was not here either; he's at the Parico residence. And then Benjie asked how I've been. I told him I've been swelling, but I'm having a nightmare. He asked me what sort of nightmare it was. I told him something you'd see in psychological horror gore jump strips in Japan. He asked me which cut I want this time; I answered the usual. He gave me my old cut-back, undercut pushback hair. And here it was my father's turn rather than just a trim. Then he got paid and left. I went back to my computer and started writing about what happened today. As well as watching Lucifer on Netflix, rewatching Netflix's Original Series "Dracula", and trying to avoid as much as I can from chatting on Discord since I attract toxic people very easily thanks to my shining presence. I looked it up on the internet, I did research on every website on the first page of google and they all say the same cause. It's because people who attract toxic people very easily are because they are the light of the world, they are kind, generous, honest, good listeners, they are the best people in the world you could imagine. No wonder why I get the phrase "You're a nice person..." "You're too kind..." "Why did you forgive me?" each time I talk to someone privately on DMs of Discord instead of conversing with a group of toxic people on chat. I simply say Hi and they see how radiant I am shining, the people who attract toxic people are often to be too shining and too intelligent so the toxic people get subconsciously jealous they don't want to admit it and they end up hurting those "light" people for no reason, what is the reason actually? In spite of jealousy, they want to become the light but they are dark, I am the white and toxic people of society are the black. However, the balance of black and white in this world is that the blacks are overpopulating (not talking about race and skin tones here I am talking metaphorically about good and evil personalities). My big brother Regie was right, "There is no grey in this world, everything is black and white."That is what he said to me. But I doubted it because I am grey, it turned out that I am actually light. Self-realization that I used to think of myself as a villain that deserves punishment but actually deep inside, I am just a small weeping child that has no actual desire but to help people no matter what. No wonder why I declined an offer. An offer to please people, to make them happy, to help them even. And even at people's darkest times I never leave them, most people would, but I stay because I know how it feels like.

I thought I was the villain, the toxic people just convinced me I AM! This internal conflict all these 11 years I realize that I am a good person because the evil people want to be at the top and they try to put me down under them to the lowest! This is what awakened the mad dog inside of me, full of torture and pain, and once a sweet innocent puppy has been abused too much over the years, they grow mad, strong, rabid even, they lash out, they kill, they turn inside to their primal instincts and go wild. And as for my manic personality in the real world that was barely or never even mentioned in this book about my childishness, wacky personality, and quite funny as a jokester even is because I hide my true feelings of despair and depression, sorrow, and grief with a "facade"! I know now! This realization is... quite tremendous I'd say! It all connects, everything connects, we all connect to each other, we connect to God, we connect to the devil, we connect to spirits, the universe, the planets, the stars even, all of us and everything of us in this universe is bred by his own image, God. Like I said before, why did I say God is neither good nor bad? Because God is the grey here, he is the only grey and all of us are either black or white, God is you and me, God is everything

Remember.

"God bred man in his own image." so everyone is God, and all of us are either black and white and if we mix all of us in this world including both the angels of heaven and the demons of hell, even the humans of the surface world between the middle, it is "grey"...