sth oneshots

just somebody to hold me (☁ + ❌)

TW SENSITIVE CONTENT AHEAD.
(mentioned) past trauma and past sexual harassment, sexual abuse / rape. graphic in one part.

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NATURE'S LAB AU. [ SHADILVER ]

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Both were dating and haven't gotten intimate. It wasn't something either were used to discussing, since both were quite inexperienced, and had rather horrible experiences of it.

Silver thought it was embarrassing and scary to talk about and Shadow, well, never considered it, since he wasn't in the relationship for the sex because he was afraid of being taken advantage of.

But every time Silver tried to talk about it, Shadow would actually consider it.

"Please, we can just do this one day, and.. there won't be another. I just want to feel you.." Silver trailed off. He wasn't unsure how to bring it up or even be mature about it.

Shadow intertwined his fingers with Silver's, "Just tell me what you want. I'll satisfy you. I could do it for you."

Silver shook his head and he stood up from the chair and leaned in, "I want to make you feel good, too! I don't want this to just be me.. I want you to feel something! Just a little will do!"

Shadow stayed silent and he tilted his head a little to the side, "You know I don't mind, love.." A small smile came from the other.

Silver sat back down, "But still.. I know you've been so stressed lately and I want to help," He pouted and frowned.

Shadow stayed silent as he blinked slowly.

"...You do know that sex can't solve stress for me, right?"

Silver nodded as his ears pinned down, "I know. I just want you to feel.. happy and.." He sighed, "We don't have to do this again, Shadow. We can leave this behind us, right?"

Shadow's heart broke at the tone.

It's so scary and heartbreaking to hear his partner reminiscing on things that happened to both of them in the past and he could just hear the unresolved confusion and trauma from the small voice crack.

It was painful to him too. The torture, the experimenting and everything there, but Silver had gone through more than he did, since he was an organic with first time occuring natural powers.

"Well, I'm not sure, I just," He paused as he felt warmth at his eyes, "-don't know anymore," He looked down to the coffee table, his eyes fixating on the magazines placed underneath.

Silver saw the tears welling at Shadow's eyes, "Let's go home, okay? We'll deal with it at home."

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Shadow and Silver were sat on the bed, just drowning in 4'33' by John Cage.

What could they do about past trauma? What could they do to get rid of the memories and experiences?

And why were they both so hurt?

Silver was just leaning against Shadow's shoulder, his hands hugging his knees while the other just was wrapped in blankets.

"Do you want to talk about it again?" Shadow muttered, his arm sitting Silver upright.

Silver blinked, "Yeah. Why do you not want to do it..? Did you have a bad first time..?" His voice was low and hesitant.

Shadow's pupils dilated at the question. He didn't reply, "...Did you?"

Silver shook his head, "Before I was captured, I was fine. Few times of hard but nice sex with Sonic and that was it."