sth oneshots

❌

first of all, TW for mental health issues etc.

-ED (Eating Disorders)
-PANIC ATTACKS
-SH (Self Harm)
-TRAUMA

also sonadow because i can

btw this was pulled RAW outta my veins so im fucking sorry.

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When Sonic found out about Shadow's problem of panicking at being touched or touched inappropriately, Sonic was quick to take action. He knew that Shadow needed someone to help calm him down in his anxious states.

Shadow was still learning how to deal with it after all. So after much debate with himself, he decided to ask Shadow about it. He wanted to know what had been causing this so he could be prepared should Shadow become overwhelmed at any point. If he was feeling overwhelmed, maybe Shadow would want someone to hold him and tell him that everything would be alright.

It took several days before Shadow finally talked to Sonic about it. When Sonic finally confronted him, Shadow said that there wasn't anything wrong, that he was just worried he'd hurt himself, but Sonic pushed until Shadow told him.

The details were painful for Shadow to recount. His first panic attack when he had gotten his period was triggered by some random, probably accidental, touch on his waist while he was working on homework during high school. He felt so ashamed of himself, so angry at the world for making such small things seem like life changing disasters.

He didn't know why he had to tense up, maybe it was because of the past trauma, or just hates physical touch. He hoped it was the latter.

After years of getting over them (the incident had been so long ago it felt like it had never happened), Shadow still got anxious when people touched him and even worse when other people stared at him strangely for having an eating disorder — refusing food, saying he wasn't hungry or was full, even if he had gone days without eating, and it made people wonder, 'does he always have to do this?', and it scared him. Something about judgement of him made him feel bad about himself.

He'd always use "I'm the Ultimate Lifeform and I don't need food" whenever somebody asked him seriously, but he himself knew that even someone who's the "ultimate lifeform' would need food, just because it provides energy.

Shadow explained that he had gotten used to it after so long. After all, the touch and the judgemental side-eyes was nothing new to him. Even so, Shadow still flinched to the slightest of touch, and sometimes he'd freak out a little, thinking that he had somehow done something horrible.

It scared Sonic how much Shadow seemed to think he could do something awful to anyone who dared touch him. He wished he knew what Shadow saw in people that made him think this. He hoped someday that Shadow would see how wonderful he really was and accept him completely.

Sonic loved Shadow unconditionally.

And he'd go quiet whenever Sonic asked for clarification on whether or not it meant that Shadow didn't like it. Sonic tried to reassure and ask Shadow if he did feel comfortable with someone touching him and telling him that it meant nothing if he didn't enjoy it. But Shadow would shut him down immediately.

Shadow didn't understand why Sonic kept asking about it so insistently. Maybe Sonic was just annoying, or even memeing on him with it, Shadow thought, or maybe Sonic thought he deserved better than being touched and treated as a fragile thing to be protected.

Shadow refused to let himself believe that there was something he was doing wrong in his life.

He refused to let anyone touch him, but if someone did, he couldn't explain why he tensed up so badly. He could only shrug and say that he was just paranoid.