sth oneshots

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--TW : SELF HARM, IMPLIED SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

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Sonic was left alone at home, without Tails or Amy. Tails went for some engineering workshop in a faraway city while Amy is on vacation with Blaze.

He went out for a walk. Into the park, everything was colourless and plain. He sat on the bench, watching the huge fountain drip with ice cold water.

That water would usually freeze during winter, and it'll be a hazard. Sonic had been struck by it before and had broken many bones - he almost died. He hated that the park was right in front of his home. It's close to winter now and he's afraid it'll happen to him again soon.

He swore to never go near any liquid, ever, and especially in the winter. In the winter, most liquid freezes into solids and that's what he's most afraid of. One wrong step and that one patch of thin ice he's walking on breaks. And he drowns.

He's terribly afraid of that.

That's why he always refuses to go ice skating during the winter even though he is sure that the centre is just ice. He just doesn't like to feel on edge like that, afraid that the ice would break and he'll drown.

He always breaks down when he see any water body deeper than five centimeters. He has almost drowned and lost his life in almost every water body he's been close to - sea, ocean, bathtub and even a swimming pool. He was always too afraid to be able to relax. He was never brave enough to learn to swim or fight off his fears.

His fear was irrational, so irrational.

"It's just water and ice."

He'll never believe you. Whenever he tries ice skating he needs to have someone to hold him and reassure him. And it never works, he always chickens out. Amy has helped, so have Tails, and even Shadow was involved.

He never liked how Amy forced him to do this. It's not something that can be done in one day.

And it seems that only he was aware of that.

Maybe Shadow knows, since he was more patient than the others but he could feel the irritation in the other's voice. He couldn't tell if he was irritated or if that was just his normal voice, but he thought that everyone was always annoyed at his stupid fear.

"And my stupid, stupid, dumb-" He sobbed.

He almost always cried during these sessions, he was so afraid. Even if there was somebody holding him, telling him it'll be okay, he himself knows very well that it is not. Not at all. Never.

He was only comfortable with crying on his own so he always asked the other to leave beforehand. Then he rushes to the bathroom after returning the equipment and cries very silently.

It was uninevitable. He couldn't escape the fear no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't never get over it.

He didn't know why he was so afraid of water. There was a reason to huge ice blocks since it was the reason of his near death experience, but water? Maybe it's related to ice, or he's just afraid of drowning, or maybe it's irrational.

He was so lucky that it's midnight right now. Everyone asleep and the village quiet. This was his only time to be peaceful.

He looked down and gritted his teeth, his fists clenched and eyes dripping with tears.

"Heros don't cry," He muttered to himself, "They never do. Remember what he said, remember.." He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped at his quills.

He thought to scream bloody murder and yell about his condition and thought right then and there multiple times, sobbing while hitting himself to shut the voices up.