Tom Kazansky: My Snowman

Day Twenty-Two

A/N: Same trigger warnings as before... Also thank you for all the love you guys are giving to my story. As I am currently writing my story has over 14K views and is still growing steadily. You guys are being so kind to my story and I absolutely love every single one of you. Also don't worry the rest of the story won't be angst. It just has to write itself out because of the long way I decided to write this story. Again, thank you all for your dedication I love every one of you fully. 

Wednesday, July 30th, 1986... 4 am

It had been hard to sleep last night. I had woken up hours ago. I was sitting on the floor. Tom and Bradley were still asleep. I'm glad that they got to relax after that mess - but I was so jealous that I wasn't able to do the same.

Thankfully Tom had a beer in the fridge that I was able to nurse for a few hours. I normally didn't drink - but right now it felt right.

A tear slipped down my face as I recalled a memory...

I had woken up screaming. It had only been a week after my rough ending with Pete. I was sweating yet freezing at the same time. Nick had come running into the room - not as fast as he had on previous nights, but still with urgency.

He would pick me up and wrap me in a blanket. Then he would carry me to the back porch. We would sit and share a drink together. He always drank more than I did... But he held me close. He would stay all night if I needed him too. My sister sure knows how to pick them.

And now my beer was going warm as I barely drank it. Tears threatened to spill again. There was no water left to cry... I had no clue how my sister was managing right now. How will she be a single mother of two? How will she manage without him? They were connected at the hip - they were perfect for one another.

Hell, he was my brother. He - damn it. He protected me all the time. He promised my Dad he would take care of me... In the end, it was me who couldn't protect him. I've failed him. What was I supposed to do?

Nick would know what to do. Oh, what I would give for just five more minutes. But time rolls by and I can't do anything about it.

I wish I had a rewind button to get those five more minutes - but that doesn't exist. I pulled my knees to my chest. I sobbed into my knees. I was finally alone and able to think. I wish I could just push it down, pretending it never happened.

I had no clue how much time actually passed, but I eventually felt arms cradling me as they pulled me up and sat me on their lap. I knew it was Tom - and part of me hated that.

Because I wish it was Nick - so bad.

"Darling Rose, it's okay. I'm here." He kissed me on my forehead. I didn't respond. I simply sobbed more. "Let it out, get some sleep." He then began to slowly rock me. He hummed a tune lightly.

I calmed down slightly, "What are you singing?" I mumbled - trying to focus on something else.

"It's playing softly on the radio - listen" He whispered.

He always kept his radio playing softly at night - I had been too much in my head to register it before.

'You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain' It's - It's Nick's song. I chuckled and cried at the same time.

"I think he's trying to cheer you up." Tom smiled. I nodded.

"Snowman?" I began.

"Yes?"

"Take me to bed or lose me forever." I tried my best to smile, tears falling from my face.

He put his hand on my face, whipping it clean so it would be tear-free, "Show me the way home Rose"