Bring Me To Life

Self control

Jenn's Pov

I spoke to the man for a few minutes and had a giant grin on my face once I hung up.

Ben was deep asleep. Hopefully.

I set Juni in her cot beside the bed and slowly pulled away from him. I slowly turned onto my stomach and Ben my got closer and rested his head on my ass. He kissed it softly in his sleep then went back to deep sleep.

I laughed softly and went back to sleep.

A few days later...

I was finally off of bed rest but still wasn't allowed to lift heavy things according to doctors orders. Anyways, I took the kids and both of my moms out today because I feel like I haven't been a great mother or daughter.. I've just been with Juni, the kids have been around me but not that much this past week because I'm either sleeping when Juni sleeps or I'm feeding her so the kids have been with their dad mostly. I took the kids to my favorite restaurant. We were seated in the patio but weren't exposed to the public because of the bushes covering the restaurant.

"Love bug, I have a question for you. Well for all of you, but I want to hear from my Sammy first." I said to the kids.

"What is it?" Sam asked as he moved his hair out of his face and looked at me.

"How have you been feeling this past week without being snuggled up with me like you always are." I asked.

"Well.. sad. I missed my mommy. But I understand you had to take care of my little sister. Dad said you had to sleep a lot so you can catch up on your sleep." Sam said and smiled softly but I could see the sadness in his eyes.

"Aww my love bug..." I said to him and cupped his chin then placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I felt kind of left out.. not gonna lie. It was a feeling of not being wanted. I mean yeah sure dad was with us a lot but you were always sleeping or focused on Juni mostly." Sera said and shrugged softly.

"But you are wanted. I do love you and I care for you. I care for you all and I love you all deeply." I said to them.

"Kind of backing off of what my sister said, It was a feeling of being unwelcome and unimportant. Despite my dad being present, you often appeared preoccupied with Juni or sleeping, leaving me feeling neglected." Max said and shrugged softly.

"Maxiiii. I'm sorry you feel that way. You know you and Cy are mommy's first love." I said and got up and walked around the table and hugged Max. I kissed his forehead and ruffled his hair.

"Same." Cy said and shrugged softly.

I hugged Cy after and played with their hair.

"Me personally, it's not that I felt neglected, I just knew that Juni needs more attention because she's a baby. She's not independent like we are but I might say that I just missed coming home to hugs and kisses everyday when I come home from school." Violet said and smiled softly.

"Awww. Violetttt." I hugged her tightly and she hugged back. I placed kisses all over her face which made her laugh.

"I love you. Lots." I said and she nodded.

"I love you too." Violet said.

I sat back down beside Samuel and Juni. I looked at the kids and smiled softly.

"As mama bear, it hurts to know my cubs were aching for love. I promise I won't make you guys feel like that again. Thank you for opening up to me and I am sorry for making you guys feel sad. I would never do such a thing to make you cuties feel neglected ever. I love you all too much and would never hurt you. I always, always, always, want the best for you babies. I can't express how much I love you guys. Again.. I'm sorry." I said as tears streamed down my face. Sammy handed me a napkin and I took it and smiled softly as I gently wiped the inner corners of my eyes.