At the time, I was 20 years old and a junior in college. As was one of my closest friends, Philip...
I:
I met Philip in high school. He was always easy to be around, the type to have lots of friends and to get along with everyone. He was sorta jocky, played football and ran track, but also had a softer more hippie-ish side, played music and loved to be in nature.
I was more quiet in high school. I hadn’t come out of the closet yet and never felt really at home in school, except around my tight knit group of friends. Me, Philip, and our three other friends would smoke weed on the weekends, watch movies, drive around suburban streets. I do remember, even then, thinking about Philip differently, feeling attracted to him, thinking about his body when I jerked off. But I honestly thought about lots of straight guys in my high school that way.
Philip and my three other friends were the first people I told I was gay. Even though they were all straight (well…so I thought…), they were amazing and accepting. We finished our senior year of high school as close as ever, and all went off to different colleges.
I had a lot of fun in college. I downloaded Tinder and Grindr and met lots of hot guys. After being in the closet all throughout high school, I was in absolute heaven. You would probably describe me as a twink. I’m about 6 feet tall and slim. A smooth chest and and a defined v-line. Long hairy legs and a small, but round ass. Dick is cut, 7 inches long, and straight as an arrow. I have bright blue eyes, a sharp nose and jawline, and thick light-brown hair. For most of my life, I’ve had a baby-face, but by the time me and Philip hooked up, I was sporting longer hair and a close-cut blondish beard.
Even though we all studied at different colleges, when me and my friends came back home it was like nothing changed. On our summer vacations, we would go on long road trips and camping trips and take shrooms together. I have a lot of love for all of them, but it’s different with Philip. It’s like I can’t help but smile when I’m around him.
Anyway, I remember all coming home for winter-break and hanging around a bonfire. We’re all drinking beer and catching up, when Philip tells me “I saw you on Tinder the other night.” "And you didn’t swipe right?” I joked back. But truthfully, I was a little surprised. I had always known Philip to be straight. But then, he tells the group a story about hooking up with a guy at school. I’m asking all sorts of questions (which isn’t unusual, we're generally pretty open about stuff) and he goes on to describe that a guy from Tinder sucked his dick and he decided, fuck it, and returned the favor. It was his first and only gay experience, but it seemed like he liked it.
The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Maybe I was rationalizing, but I thought: Okay, Philip is an open-minded straight guy, the type to try everything once, it didn’t mean much.
Of course that didn’t stop me from jerking off thinking about his mouth around my cock...
II.
It was time to return to school, but Philip and one of our other friends, Nick, decided to take the semester off and drive across the country. Before they embarked on their adventure, I invited them to spend the weekend at my apartment.
My city was under quarantine, but us three were still trying to have fun at home. We chilled with my roommates and got drunk. It's a running joke that my friend Nick falls asleep (and is impossible to wake back up) at the worst times. Naturally, he was splayed across the couch long before the night ended. So, Philip and I ended up sharing my double bed. This wasn't unusual: we had shared countless beds and sleeping bags growing up.
Although, and it’s difficult to describe, something very different was in the air. Maybe it was the way Philip was looking at me. I don’t remember a lot about that night, but I do remember being aware (at least subconsciously) of some powerful force of desire gurgling under the surface, threatening to tear open the normalcy of our relationship.
