Is This Happiness

65

CARMEN

Waking up to a lone and cold bed when you're used to a warmth next to you is unnerving. It feels odd and unsettling. But something i've grown used to over the past couple of months. I had to when it came to Stefano. It was always something keeping us apart. Always something pushing us further away from one another, and that something was him.

"It's my birthday." I murmured softly against the satin sheets, turning smoothly onto my back to stare up at the chiseled ceiling above. Pulling on pieces of my hair, and wrapping it around my finger. I can't escape the empty feeling inside my chest. It wouldn't leave, physically or mentally. Without him here, i'm lost. I'm completely and utterly pathetic.

The date of my birth had never been too big of a deal to me. Although i'd be lying if the subtle fact of his presence nowhere to be found on this day, or any day for that matter, angered me to no ends. It brought me to my knees.

Breaking me free from the sinister thoughts inside my mind, a knock on the door makes me jump. It's pushed open and my favorite maid makes herself known. Pushing a cart weighed down with breakfast foods, my mouth waters, and tummy rubles.

"Good morning Mrs. Genovese, happy birthday!" I smile at her excitement. Even larger when she hands me a plate of waffles with whipped cream, sprinkles, and fudge drizzle. I grab it without a second thought, bringing it to my nose to smell.

"Oh! For me?" I blush, sarcastically speaking. The maid matched my smile, picking up the syrup and drizzling it onto my birthday waffle from where she stands at the end of the bed.

"Mr. Genovese's orders, to serve you in bed." She says merrily, putting the syrup back down onto the cart, and placing both hands on her hips when she's finished tending to me. My beating heart begins a faster rhythm hearing her words. Stefano did this for me?

"Turn that frown upside down! Why are you upset, Mrs. Genovese!?" I look up from my food and into her big eyes full of shame.

"Have I said something to upset you?"

"No!" Absolutely not, the opposite actually. Is what I really wanted to say, but held my tongue. Now what would it look like if my insecurities got around the estate? My doubts, and dark thoughts of my husband being unfaithful to me would surely have everyone on the edge. And if they find out, so will Stefano. And I wasn't ready for that conversation yet.

"Whatever you say." She gives me a strange look before asking if there was anything that I needed before she would see herself out. To which I replied with a no. A definite no, wanting to be left alone, by myself to think. Think of things I shouldn't, and have absolutely no control over. For example the party being set up downstairs.

I finish thinking and eating. So I get up for the long day ahead. Walking, I admire the view. The windows were on either side of the two balcony doors. Shining brightly in, I winch closing my eyes tightly at the sight of the sun.

Opening the bathroom door, I head straight for the sink to grab my toothbrush. But am distracted by another knock on the door.

"What!" I open the door, still holding my pink toothbrush with my right hand. The guard stationed to the bedroom looks into my eyes only, not once looking down at my slightly revealed body.

"Stefano is arriving." He states gruffly, clenching his jaw tightly. He always tells me when Stefano is arriving. I guess he can see how distant I am with him gone. But i'm grateful he tells me, it means a lot. My eyes widen, hurrying to run back into the room and grab a throw blanket to cover the upper half of my body. I race down the hallway, wearing lingerie under, and it was an unpleasant sight to see. Seeing as Stefano would probably murder anyone who looked my way.

"There she is." His voice fills my ears. My eyes land on his and his immediate action is to open his arms wide for my hug.

"Happy birthday, preziosa." I jump on him, forgetting my blanket and anything on my mind from earlier. I bury my head into his neck, taking a whiff of his cologne that I craved so badly to smell. My arms tighten around his neck, acting like I had been deprived from him.

"You're here, you made it." I tear up, inhaling his scent once again, and hopefully it wasn't noticeable. I wonder once again this time, how I could have possibly went without it. Without him, and his touch, his voice, the way he smelled or held me tight in his arms.

Breathing in deeply, he feels the motion this time in his neck, laughing lowly into my ear before squeezing my lower waist. He pulls backwards, grabbing my jaw with his hand.

"Always." He speaks softly, looking my face over and examining it closely. Letting his fingers run through my hair like he loves to do. He captures my lips with his own, letting them linger for a few seconds.

"I missed you so much." I place another kiss onto his lips, receiving four more from him after. Practically smothered with them, I give into him. Loving the attention i'd been craving for days. The closest feeling I could describe it as was starvation, for him completely.

"I know, bellissima." He replies cockily, before flinching a bit. As if his words had a bitter aftertaste. He shakes his head slightly, pulling his hand from my jaw, and safely dropping me back down onto my two feet. He looks away from me, throwing a hand to rub over his jaw, coughing. Which is something he has never done before. Like side effects to his own words, he meets my eyes when I decide to speak.

"Are you alright?" I ask concerned, grabbing onto either side of his face. His eyes melt, softening in my hold. He doesn't speak for a minute, looking at me and just staring. But it wasn't creepy or awkward. It was like he missed me, or wanted to remember my face, detail for detail. His eyes traveled briefly.

"Strangled a bit, have you received my gift?" He speaks, untangling himself from my hold, and changing the topic trying to distract me. Instead, slipping a single hand into mine and pulling me along. He looks back, giving me one of his infamous smirks. And I hate to admit that I missed the expression so much that I forget what has just happened.

"Gift?" I bite my lip, asking. But deep, deep, down feeling a certain feeling rise within. Like a tradition, he leaves, I get gifts. He feels bad, and I understand that. But gifts would never fill the void. I just wanted him.

"You didn't see the gigantic box in our bedroom?" A giant smile stretched onto my face at his words. Of course I hadn't, I had a plate of waffles in-front of my face. His hand squeezes mine tightly before he drops it and opens the bedroom door quickly.

"Open it." My eyes find his cautiously before landing on a long box resting on the already made bed. My brows rise knowing I couldn't have been away from the room for more than five minutes. Everything was done so quickly.

"Right now?" I ask him, but more or less just wanting to tease. And getting the reaction I wanted. He pulls me into him, grabbing my face and placing a kiss onto my forehead.

"Go on." He whispers against my head, placing one last kiss and pushing me softly away from him. I eye him before turning and walking towards the big bed. Leaning over to untie the bow. I look behind me to watch him raise one of his eyebrows in question.

"Any day now, preziosa." He seems much more comfortable calling me that than the nickname from before, but so was I. A puffy white dress lays perfectly inside the spacious box below.

"Take it out." I don't hear him walk up to me from behind. He speaks lowly and into my right ear. Slipping his arms up under my mine to hold me. I take the dress out. Lifting it and unable to believe my eyes. I look back at him speechless.

"It's beautiful, thank you!" I turn fully, throwing my arms around his neck once again. The only time i'd seen a dress this beautiful was on a television show.

"You deserve the finest things my queen." He kisses my lips after I roll my eyes at his words. Since when was he so cheesy. He picks my up, dropping me down onto the bed, but more like body slam. I groan at his large weight on top of me. It was suffocating, but I fucking missed it.

"Now tell me why you left our room only wearing this."