Is This Happiness

37

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I throw my pillow at Stefano's head when he enters my room. I almost throw myself off the bed in the process.

Why buy such huge pillows?

"Calm the fuck down." I ignored his annoyingly hot accent rolling if of this tongue.

"You don't get to tell me what the fuck to do after you played me like that. You're sick I don't even want to look at you."

"You don't mean that." He growled.

"No I do! All of that bullshit you gave me at the hotel you meant none of it. Cheating on her like that! I thought we had something. I was just your toy all along. I should have known."

I rambled standing from the bed. I wanted to drive my aching fist into his face.

"It's not a real engagement." His words were low.

"What I didn't hear you did you just make another excuse?" I got up to his face. Well just below his nose.

"I am not hers." I scoff turning around. He catches my arm with his hand pulling me into his chest. "Will you not rip my arm off?"

"What is it that you want?" He snaps in my face, leaning down to do so. I bet if I stuck my tongue out it would touch his nose.

"What does it matter? You were, t-touching her."

"Cause and effect." His voice was soft, bringing his thumb across my lips.

"DONT GIVE ME THAT BULL." I slam both of my hands into his chest, hitting repeatedly. After seconds he grabs both of my wrists in a right hold.

"If I didn't propose you would be six feet under. Do you understand me? No, even worse you'd be fucking tortured." I shutter at his angry words, and quit my movements.

"What." I murmur.

"Her father. He's a very powerful man." Stefano's continues slowly. I'm sure he felt my tremble against his body. I knew he felt bad, his eyes furrowed.

"So are you." I cut him off confused.

"Grazie, Preziosa." He loosens the tight grip, but still holding on securely.

"Every family craves to be at the top. The position I hold is what many men want, if not all. Understand this Carmen. I would never do a thing to harm you. I took a deal with the Russians. The family that mine has been allies with since the late sixties. By taking his daughters hand in marriage, I got an exchange for my families safety, for your safety. Which comes with pleasing the bride. If I didn't her father would be the first called, you have to understand."

"Stefano." He let go of my wrists.

"I need to act that part as you Americans say."

"With you I am most vulnerable. I cannot afford to show that to anyone out of this house. I did not drag you back into this office like I wanted to. I did not do what I will now."

I let out a deep breath seeing him drop to his knees.

"Forgive me." The pain in his eyes was clear. It seemed to match the burning ache in my chest. Which was a feeling that I never wanted to feel again.

"We were never together." I whisper, looking down towards the ground as he stands quietly.

"I'm sorry." I drop to my knees in front of him, now matching his height. I grab onto either side of his head with both of my hands.

"It's for your family. I understand that now, don't feel bad please." I beg him.

The tears threatening to leave his eyes shocked me to my core. "No, no it's okay." I caress his cheek, lifting to my knees to hug him.

My fingers curl into the locks of his thick hair.

"You're okay." I cradle his head. I squint my eyes together trying to hold in the tears pulling at my heart strings.

I cant help but release a muffled sob, tucking my head into his shoulder. His hand travels to the back of my head.

"Shh." I hit him in the back hard, earning a groan. "Shut the fuck up."

I sigh deeply into his neck. "This is the last time we hug, huh?" I ask.

"Don't." I try moving away but cant.

"Marriage is special Stefano. You'll be loyal to her as she will to you. We're not going to be seeing much of each other anymore, it's okays."

"What if I told you she was in love with someone else?" My heart stops in my chest.

"You don't mean that."

"Her childhood friend, yes." I look into his eyes and see nothing dishonest.

"Then why are the two of you fucking." He removes himself from me to stand up.

"Its business, I do what she wants without question, or her father will know." He pulls my hands up to stand. "I have eyes for no one but you. Remember that, will you?"

"You touched her, you continue to touch her." I spit with sarcasm lacing my harsh tone.

"And that boy touched you." My mouth drops open, being closed by his finger. I turn my head to face him.

"That was before I came back! Get out! What's is your do that out of spite? You didn't even stop when I walked in, you didn't look sorry! You've made two different excuses just now."

I was slammed up against the door.

"Get the fuck off of me." I growl, pushing at his chest the hardest I can.

"How could you think these things of me. All I have done is protect you."

"You hurt me too."

"Sleep." He let go off me backing up.

"That's the last time." He looks shocked at my words. He nods, smirking. "We'll see."

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