Is This Happiness

72

CARMEN

"Are you awake?" I murmur hoping not to wake him if he isn't. The only sound in the dark room was my pounding heart, my racing thoughts, and a headache that traveled throughout my body. It was an everlasting ache that kept me awake, as I have been for hours. Just laying here, blinking hundreds of times, wishing my eyes could just adjust to the pitch black room. Even if there was one source of light, the moon. The long curtains hanging just aside, blocked the window, making it nearly impossible to get a good look at the floating white ball that illuminates the dark.

I hug my chest with an arm. While turning my head every once in a while to check Stefano's breathing. He was always very still, he slept like the dead, and it terrified me. No matter how peaceful it was to see ever muscle in his face relax.

I lick my lips as I turn onto my side, but carefully not to wake him. I slowly raise the comforter from below my waist to over my shoulders, nuzzling my head into the soft pillowcase underneath, and without a word, his shoulders move, creating a sound against the sheets under him.

I slide over, wrapping my arm around his waist becoming comfortably situated as he hums softly, pulling me closer to his chest. I lay my head just above his heart, and it was pounding. Maybe even faster than mine was. Yet he remains calm, not even moving an inch.

"Stefano, I want to come with you." I speak quietly, and not being completely specific with what I mean't, but he knew. I close my eyes tightly hearing the beating of his heart slow. Beginning to rest in his chest, my arm tightens around his waist knowing that I made him feel the same as he did me.

His hand lifts from my back to play with a strand of my hair. Looping it around his finger and dropping it to move on to another.

"Because you don't trust me?" He questions, curiously. Making me bite my tongue before I lost my mind, yet it doesn't help a lot.

"Because I can't go another day without you Stefano. You can't honestly say that you don't miss me too, this is ridiculous. I miss you, I want to be with you. That's just it." I rant, lifting my body from off of his. I needed him to know just how serious I was. I'm done with being odd one out.

His eyes open to find mine and they soften.

"The only reason I allowed you to my apartment was because I couldn't trust you to be anywhere else. That was dangerous and it won't happen again. It's safe here Carmen, understand this." He speaks, sitting up and following my movement. His arms reach out for me but I don't move towards them, feeling tears sting my eyes.

"Carmen." He speaks slowly, dragging his hands over his face in distress.

"I know you'll keep me safe." I drag a finger down his chest. Letting my eyes flicker up once my wrist is caught by his rough hand. It makes me cringe because of the bruise. His eyes zero in on mine, bringing my hand up to place a kiss onto the back of it. Further down to my wrist that he holds gently now.

He gives me a pointed look.

"Please." I whimper, embarrassed by the way my voice trembled.

"Okay." He speaks, shocking me. My eyes widened at how easily he gave in. There was absolutely no way, this was suspicious.

"So you miss me as much as I miss you?" I tease, wiping a tear that falls from my eye. I didn't care why he gave in. All I care about is him actually taking me with him.