Maid in Lace (PUBLISHED)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

My eyes fluttered opened, they were feeling puffy. No more tears were coming. I don't know how long we stayed in silence... maybe ten minutes.

My breathing softened, my hand had been holding the cuff of Xander's sleeve the whole time. "I'll be more careful" My voice was hoarse.

"I want to kill him" He responded and a small smile appeared on my face, pushing myself up weakly, "But I don't want you in jail" He raised his eyebrows at this.

"I knew it" He said and I shot him a quizzical look.

"You're like a dog" My eyes widened at his words, "You're slowly loving your master more and more each day" He grinned which only led me to roll my eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that. I mean if you were in jail, I'd have to find a new master yadda yadda yadda and the effort of all that" I quickly said.

"Or you'd go back to my uncle" I paused.

"Well then... you know maybe you going to jail isn't that bad" I teased him and he just rolled his eyes, bringing both his hands down to my waist now as he watched me.

I don't know why or what possessed me at that moment in time to make me say what I said next or where it came from but I said it, "I want you to take my virginity".

His mind seemed to process what I said for one second before his eyes widened and he gave me a look that said 'What the fúck?'.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't make me repeat it!" I scowled.

"Where the hell did that come f- You're still drunk. I thought that water had calmed you down a bit..." He sighed, shaking his head lightly, "But they say drunk words are sober thoughts" He grinned but I just frowned.

"I'm not drunk. I'm not slurring over my words, I'm pretty damn aware of what's going on around me" I argued before he hesitated.

"You know you got jealous of Tina earlier 'cause I wasn't giving you enough attention" He told me, was he seriously avoiding what I just said?

"First of all, I don't know if that even happened but if it did, I had no clue what was going on and it's not that I was jealous I just don't like being left out" He opened his mouth to answer back but I held up my finger,

"Secondly, stop avoiding what I just said"

"You said a lot of things" I wanted to slap him at that moment... Can I slap him.. please..

I let out a groan, "About the virginity thing" I felt awkward saying it out loud. I may sound like a slút right now to some people but I didn't care... I was lucky to get out of that incident but if it happened again. I wanted my virginity to be taken by someone I lik- someone good-looking and that looks after me.

I let out a sigh when he avoided my eyes, "You're gáy" This made him turn back to me, cocking an eyebrow, "I'm gáy because I don't want to talk about having se-"

"No... a normal guy wouldn't usually refuse sex" I shrugged.

"It's your virginity"

"Don't guys like that even more?" I had no clue what I was even saying. He paused for a moment, debating what to say before letting out a soft sigh.

"It's different... it's you"

I frowned at his reply, "Wow.. you don't want to have sex with me... ouch. Be right back, let me just gather all my self-esteem that smashed into bits on the ground" He chuckled at my response.

"I don't mean it like that, I jus-"

"Xander, I'm not messing. I'm a maid for god's sake. Next time I'm bought by someone, the odds are he's going to be a perverted weirdo and try to take it. Better you taking it than some creep... even though you're a perverted weirdo too."

"What are you talking about next time you're bought?" His brow furrowed, "I told you, you're my maid and mine only" My heart fluttered slightly at the words. I couldn't help at that moment the feeling of being wanted.

"Shut up" I scowled, trying to push back the happiness I got from that comment, "I'm just saying, I can't imagine you wanting to keep a maid forever so sooner or la-"

"No" He cut me off.

"Xander please"

"Please?" He tilted his head.

Never did I think I'd be begging Xander Hawke to take my fucking virginity.

"Xander, the incident I've just been in.. that experience. I want it taken by someone I actually like. Please" I frowned slightly.

He blinked before a soft smile appeared on his lips and his right brow arched, "Someone you like... so you're implying I'm someone you like"

"I didn't mean it like that" I scowled, "Would you just answer the question?!" I was getting annoyed now.

He paused before shrugging his shoulders, "I said no. It's just the panic your feeling now, you're not thinking straight"

HE'S HALF RIGHT! YOU AREN'T THINKING STRAIGHT BUT YOU ARE! DEEP DOWN YOU WANT AND NEED THIS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S BAD!

I let out a sigh and pushed myself up from him with a tiny shrug. I turned away from him and began walking off... this was my last idea on how to get him to say yes, almost immediately he questioned me, "Where are you going?"

I turned back to him with a grin, "You refused my invitation. So I'm going to find another person I like and ask him." I pretended to think for a minute, "Now I wonder where Nick could have gone to."