Once In A Lifetime

Ashamed

Melissa's POV

I knew I messed up. I thought Seth would just have it out on me and then it would be fine again. But he was really pissed. He refused to pick up any one of my phone calls or answer my text the rest of my trip. In order for me to talk to my kids, I had to call my mom. She had it out with me as well as she knew why was pissed at me. She made it clear she was on Seth's side on this. I felt like shit. I guess I deserved it. It made it worse that I had to put on a front when I left as paparazzi would be around me and I would have to put on a smile at appearances. My trip finally ended. I was relived. I wanted to go home and talk to Seth. I hated that I couldn't talk to him. I flew back and a driver waited for me. He wasn't even there to pick me up. That stung. I got in the car and was driven home. We pulled up to the house and I walked in. Instantly my kids were on me as my mother walked over to me with Jennifer in her hands. Jennifer was now almost 5 months old. She was small for a 5 month old but that was expected. I hugged the boys as I was smiling. They made me happy. I took my little girl from my mom and hugged her and kissed her. I was so happy to be with my babies again. The boys moved away and I asked my mother, "Where is Seth?"

"In his office." She frowned.

"He really is mad, isn't he?" I asked.

"What did you expect, Lissa? What you did was crossing the line. I think he is more hurt you did it. And to talk about the affair after years has passed, it was like you were picking at old wounds. You should have avoided the question all together. And talking about your sex life on the radio. I even know Seth likes his privacy. Why the hell would you do it?" She was angry with me.

I shrugged as I felt like a child getting scolded at. "I have no clue, mom. I wanted to do this interview so bad. I didn't think."

"No, you didn't and now Seth is upset. After I heard the interview myself, I was applaud. I couldn't believe you did that, Lissa." She then took Jennifer from me. "Now, you go find your husband and grovel if you may. This is your screw up, so now fix it."

I hung my head and nodded. "Okay." I only breathed.

I walked away and went down the hall and walked up to the door that was closed. I knocked on it. "Yeah." I heard Seth on the other side.

I slowly opened it and walked in. I closed it behind me and he looked at me angrily. "What do you want?" He had venom in his voice.

He wasn't just mad, he was pissed. I said, softly, "I'm so sorry, Seth. I know what I did was wrong."

"I just can't believe you fucking did that! I mean, what possessed you to do such a thing! How could you, Lissa?! You know damn well I would not approve! I...I can't even....ugh! I have no words, Lissa!" He yelled at me.

It shook me to the core. My first thought was as I never seen him this angry at me was that he would leave me for this. It scared the shit out of me. "I know." I began to cry. "You have every right to be angry at me but I am sorry, Seth. I really am." I cried harder. "Please, just don't let this mess us up."

Quickly, I noticed his demeanor change. He expression softened. "Is that what you think will happen?" I nodded as I cried. "Fuck, Lissa." He breathed. He walked over to me and took me in his arms as I cried. "Baby, I am pissed, yes. But I will not leave you for this."

I sobbed out. "I know I fucked up, Seth. So much. But when you wouldn't return my text or answer my calls, I got really scared. I have never made you this angry. I instantly went to the worse case scenario. I thought I would come back here and you would tell me you were done with me. Made it so much harder that I had to put on a front like nothing was wrong while I was away when I didn't know if it was."