Once In A Lifetime

No Fault

Melissa's POV

After that night, Seth didn't touch me. I quickly was okay again the next morning as I knew he didn't mean to cause that to happen. I even told him as much. I tried to let him know I was okay as I was. I knew what was a trigger now and it would just have to be avoided. But Seth refused to touch me in that way after that night. I could still see a shame in his eyes as it came up. I was trying to ease his worries but it didn't work. I was at first understanding, but as the more I would try to get Seth to take me again, he would just pull away or use excuses, the more frustrated I got. I missed the way my husband was with me. We were to leave for Georgia the next day to watch KJ play. I was sitting in bed waiting for Seth to get home. I think he used his work to avoid coming home to avoid me trying, it was annoying. He walked in and quickly dressed into his night clothes. He got in bed without saying anything. I knew he was trying to avoid me. I wasn't dense. I curled up to him and kissed his neck as I moved my arms around him. "Baby, I have missed you."

I moved my hands south and moved it under the hem of his sweats. He quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me away. He just said, "Not tonight, Lissa. I am tired."

I knew it was another excuse. In the past, he was never too tired to have me in the past. I was frustrated and moved away from him. I exhaled as I sat up in the bed. I almost yelled, "What the hell, Seth!"

He turned to me and sighed. He said, calmly, "Love, I am just tired. Please, we have a flight early tomorrow. Now, get some sleep."

"Fuck, sleep!" I yelled. "My own husband won't touch me! How do you think that makes me feel!"

He sat up and sighed again. "I do want you."

"Bullshit!" I yelled as I moved out of the bed and stood up. "This is all bullshit! I am sorry for freaking on you! But I am okay, don't you get that! You don't have to be scared to touch me! I won't freak every time you take me! I am okay!"

"But I'm not!" He yelled back at me. Then he looked away as he let it out. He looked at the bed as he said, much calmer, "I'm not okay, love. To see you freak out. To see you afraid of me. It scared me. I never want you to feel that way with me. Ever. In that moment, I felt like I was the monster. I felt like I was the one who hurt you." I sat back in the bed and cupped his chin as I moved his head to look at me. I saw tears flowing down his cheeks. He looked at me as his eyes were filled with pain. I moved my forehead on his as I felt for him. "I was that monster at that moment. I never wanted you to feel like that. I never wanted to cause you pain like that."

At this point, tears moved down my cheeks. "Baby, it was a trigger. You did nothing wrong. Nothing. Doesn't make you a monster what happened to me. You saved me that day. If you didn't come when you did, so much worse could have happened to me. You're not the monster, you are my hero. I will always see you in that way."

"But you were terrified of me. You have no idea how that felt. I never wanted you to look at me the way you did that night. I am so scared if I take you again that you might. I can't bare that." He said, softly in his tears.

"You won't." I breathed. "I love you, Seth MacFarlane. And nothing in this world will change that."

I moved in slowly and took his lips, softly. He kissed me back. We kissed for while as it slowly intensified. Seth moved his arms around me and I moaned slightly in his lips as he did. I felt he was slowly coming around. Then he broke the kiss as he breathed, "I can't, love. It's too much."

"Please, Seth." I almost begged. "I miss my husband. My hero. I need you. You are the only one I ever want. So please let me have this."

He seemed reluctant but started to kiss me again. Again it intensified. I laid back on the bed as he moved over me. He broke the kiss as he seemed nervous. It was the first time in a long time I seen him this way. I cupped his cheek and reassured him. "It's okay, Seth. I promise."