XPLR | Colby Brock

~83~

"I haven't played a saxophone in years," Sam said as he flipped the old woodwind instrument in his hands.

"Well figure it out, we can vlog this and drag it out to ten minutes and get ad revenue," Katrina said. Sam lifted the mouthpiece to his lips and blew into it. The saxophone squeaked.

I laughed at that as Colby wrapped an arm around my waist. "Hey, it's Rose's fault we're doing this video," Colby smirked. "You said it was a good idea," I said, then rolled my eyes. "You're my girlfriend, I have to say it was a good idea," he chuckled as he took his arm off me and took my hand, the one with the ring.

Katrina whistled and put her hands on her waist. "I've been dating Sam for a while and he hasn't given me a ring yet," she said with a smirk. "Sorry that I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. We already know it's coming, just not after six months," Sam said and flared at us. "Great, no I'm never gonna hear the end of it," he said and chuckled, letting he know that he was just teasing us.

"I'm not sorry that I love my girlfriend. And it's not an engagement ring," he said and shrugged. Before a few nights ago, it was just a ring he bought me from New York, because he knew I wanted to go there.

He doesn't know I want to live there.

I just want to be with him. But I want New York too.

"C..." Sam whispered to himself, then looked at the fingering chart next the sheet music. I looked over at the sheet music on his lap top. "That's a b," I said with a chuckle behind him.

"I should help him instead of being jealous, huh," Katrina said as she stood next to. I didn't have the heart to tell them that a c on a piano, and sheet music, is actually a b flat on saxophone.

Colby smiled at me and took the camera, then lifted it up and pressed record. "How the hell did I ever do this..."

Sam put the reed to his mouth and managed to play a few notes of the song. It was a bit off key and sharp, but good enough to still be funny. Colby recorded Sam attempting to play saxophone for a while longer until he figured out the song.

"This is such a bad idea," Sam said. "We're literally going to get killed."

"No, you're literally going to get killed. We'll make Colby get out his clarinet next," I said with a smirk as I looked over at him. Sam laughed at that, and Colby held his hands up in defense. "I think I'll be able to figure it out faster than Sam did his saxophone," he said with a chuckle. "The only people really qualified to talk about music is Katrina and Rose," Sam said. "More specifically Rose, being a professional pianist and all," Katrina said.

Colby wrapped his arms around me. "Both of you, lay off, she's my girlfriend," he chuckled, and he suddenly pulled me back onto the sofa in his room and I laughed.

Colby was just looking for an excuse to have his arms around me.

"I'm calling it quits. Let's go," Sam said. "I'm going to see if I can find a striped blue shirt and a cap," Sam said as he and Katrina turned to leave the room. Colby smiled at me. "You look amazing tonight," he said as he gave me a quick look up and down.

I chuckled at that, looking down at my off the shoulder T-shirt and ripped jeans. There's nothing special about it, I thought, at least. And that's what I told him.

"You're in it, that's what makes it special," he said as he placed his hands on my waist and pulled me closer. He looked down at my body again, slower this time. I waited for his gaze to meet mine, and he gave me that smirk I only get every so often.

He leaned in and kissed me, pulling me more on to his lap. It wasn't long before his tongue was beckoning mine through my lips.

This made me think of the time I had done this with Kai.

The movie continued to play as we kissed, and I slowly became more comfortable. Suddenly, he laid me down on the sofa and moved on top of me.

No reason to panic. I told myself.

Now that I was tangled up with Colby, his hand moving up and down my back and sliding up my shirt to feel the bare skin of my back, panicking wasn't in my mind at all. This felt romantic. Colby wasn't hungry, he was gentle and kind.

He kissed me a bit harder, then his hand subtly slipped down to my ass, giving it a quick squeeze as he moved down to kissing my neck.

No reason to panic. I reminded myself again.

I put my hand against his chest. "Kai..." I whispered to him, pushing him a little so he might stop. "Yes?" He whispered as he kissed down my neck to my collar bone.

Colby's lips slid down my neck as his hands moved down my back to my rear, groping me for a moment before he moved back up. "I love you," he whispered as he pulled away for a moment. "I love you t-" I started, but we heard Sam and Katrina's voice coming across the hall and he quickly moved me off his lap.

I stood up and went to grab my bag and put it on, just as Sam and Katrina walked in. "Ready to go?" He asked.

That night, in target, was the best time I've had in months. I love him. I love all of them. Every time I get to be with them, I'm so happy I forget anything bad that ever happened to me.

And the way Colby grinned at me, so amused and happy, was enough to make my heart soar. And Katrina catching herself on me so she wouldn't fall laughing made me laugh just as hard.

And it was riding home that night that I realized something.

I can't take him away from this. Because I know that Colby would move with me. He loves me. He loves me. So much so that we're never apart, so me suddenly moving across the country, a five hour plane ride away, would be a change neither of us could handle. So he'd have to come with me, we'd have to break up, or I'd stay here with him. Neither of those choices were great or worked in both of our favors at once. So my best choice is the one where only I have to suffer.

And maybe I wouldn't suffer. Because I might not have Juilliard, but I have Colby.

But even as I laid in his bed that night, long since he went to sleep, I couldn't bring myself to decline Gerald Brown's email.