XPLR | Colby Brock

~87~

I need your help. Please tell me what your favorite moments are in past chapters. So please give chapter numbers! I haven't read them since I published them and this story has been in commission for over a year, so I need your help! Rose needs to remanence on some of them, to help influence her decision...

"Have you seen tik tok videos? They're gross. I mean some of them are funny. Be honest with me, Rose, have you seen any of my musical.ly's?" Colby asked me as we sat in the in-and-out parking lot, since neither of us quite felt like getting out.

"I watched you edit that video, Colby, I know all about it," I chuckled. I'd been to their office space a few times, but never more than a few minutes. "I don't just pick you up and take you to go watch me work. We'll watch a movie at the very least," Colby had said.

I took a bite and looked out the window for a moment as Colby said, "Still. I was shocked. Do people actually think that's cool? Wait, I answered my own question. Yes, but only if it's funny. And that's only in tik tok's place!" He laughed softly. He's talkative today.

This wasn't the surprise I expected, but it was a surprise none the less. Anything with Colby is glorious and I love it, but right now, more than anything, I wanted to be bundled up in Cavenaugh with him, where he and I made our hideout together. I could stay there forever. With him.

"What's on your mind?" Colby asked. He smiled gently, wanting to comfort me. He pushed my hair behind my ear and smiled as he leaned over and kissed my cheek softly. Just sweetly, letting me know he cared. I need to tell him. Now.

I looked up at him, and the words came to my mind, but my voice wouldn't let me speak. "I-" I paused, and I could feel my face contorting to a nervous look, panic. My heart began to race, and I realized I wasn't ready to do this.

Still, it was too late. Colby gave me a concerned look as he reached down and placed a comforting hand on my thigh. "Rose? What's up?" He asked and rubbed my thigh.

"I have to tell you something. About my concert," I blurted. I glanced away from his eyes. He sat back in his seat to give me space, but his stand was still on me. "Alright... well what is it?" He asked.

"I got an offer to Juilliard. Full ride," I said.

He paused. "Wow! Where's Juilliard?" He said. He didn't get it. I felt a surge of embarrassment and relief and... and anger. He doesn't understand.

When I didn't say anything, I just gave him a look I can even describe... blank. His face changed. "Is it far away?" He asked. "New York City," I said. "I have a few days to take the offer or not before it's off the table."

Despite what I expected, Colby smiled. Proudly. "My girl got an offer to Juilliard," he said. He leaned down and kissed my cheek. That didn't exactly feel better. "What are you going to do?" He asked. I could tell by his tensity that the prospect of me moving was scary. He could feel that I want to go. I desperately want to go.

"I don't know," I said, honestly. "Do you think we could handle long distance?" I asked quietly.

"Is that even on the table, Rose? I'll go with you. You can't pass that up," he said.

"It is on the table," I said suddenly. "You can't leave here, your channel will be over. You wouldn't be able to see Sam anymore, nothing would be the same."

He opened his mouth to counter my argument, but he stopped. "Yeah... you're right," he said. He wouldn't say it, but his channel meant as much to him as I do. "You can't leave this life behind," I say softly. A sudden wave of sadness.

He gave me a puzzled look. "I don't want to," he said honestly. "I want to stay here. California has been good to me," he said. He reached over and took my hand. "But I love you. More than anything I've ever had, Rose."

I didn't say anything. It felt good to have finally told him, but now I felt worse. Conflicted. Confused. Scared.

This was a mistake. I should've never told him.

Colby put his arm around me and leaned down to my ear. "How many days do you have?" He asked. "Four." I answered.

"Then we don't have to figure it out. I'll take you back to class, and we'll do something after you get out." He said.

God. Please let this turn out alright.