XPLR | Colby Brock

THE HELL 1M READS?

My dearest readers, 

Words do not even begin to describe the amount of admiration and love I feel for you guys in this very moment. I owe you guys the world. 

I don't even know where to start, and I already know this letter will be everywhere. I apologize in advance. 

So much has changed for me in this last year and a half that this story has been in existence. So much. Nonetheless, this story, and you- the readers- have always been there. I love you guys more than I've ever loved anything abiotic. 

Rose's (and my) story started in November of 2017. In fact, I can still remember the very moment the idea popped into my head: a pianist, and of course, Colby Brock. A best friend, duplicity, and infidelity. I always wanted to share my stories, share this one, but I never dreamed it would reach the magnitude it has now. 

Let me start from the beginning, the very beginning. 

Ever since I was a little kid, I can very distinctly remember books and writing always being a part of my ultimate dream. I was what you could call a "creative" kid, but I was really one of the weird ones who pretended to be a Warrior Cat during recess. I loved making up things. In fact, at age 8 or 9, I wrote my first fan fiction. It was Warrior Cat. Silverstream was my main hoe, I loved her. F. 

Where I'm going with this is that I had always wanted to be a writer. I was imaginative and excited. In 2016, I wrote my first published fan fiction under the pseudonym silver-wall. It was based on the anime Fairy Tail. I remember when that one first breached one thousand reads as well. It currently has 26.6k reads. I wrote it for less than a year, all throughout the summer. It was daily posts, sometimes twice a day, back then writing was an all out addiction. 163 Chapters. 

Next I moved onto short story writing under the pen name nanako_suzuki (don't ask, I'm a weeb and I definitely was back then). None of those short stories ever caught wind, but I love them for the experience. Then, I was truly writing only for me. The Curious Case of Alexis West lives on in my heart, and I've rewritten it countless times and sent it in to contests for scholarship money. I'm still waiting on feedback. 

Among these, none of them have meant as much to me as XPLR has. XPLR is different. On the obvious side, it's about a real living person. Colby Brock was only subject to my imagination in a few instances, because, of course, he's a real person, a real entity. Rose, Elena, Hayden, Logan, they are not. 

But let me explain to you why that is not true. And what you had to do with it. 

I'm a writer, and I pride myself on that. But I never knew what it meant to truly be a writer. At the very beginning of my story, before it caught wind, I wrote to write. I put myself in Rose's shoes, I made her what I thought was the perfect version of myself, and while that may seem normal to you, it bothers me greatly now. I abused her, and what I had created, towards the middle of what exists now. I'm sure you guys felt or saw the chapters getting longer, becoming few and far between, and there's a clear and obvious answer as to why that happened: I was losing sight of what writing really was. 

Yes, I was writing for clout. 

But let me clarify and disclaim before you all scoff: that is not the case anymore. 

When shit hit the fan for me, when my life was turning on its head and everything was changing, I had only one constant to turn to: and that was my story. Not the readers, not the surreal feeling I got from knowing I was a big author on the internet. 

I turned to Rose, and my depiction of Colby.

You see, what I didn't realize until the recent years of my life, is that writing is a blissful escape, for the readers as well as the authors themselves. XPLR became my escape, and damn, did it become a good one. I always hoped it could be the same experience for you. I hope the recent chapters have been everything you guys have expected from me, after all, I really want to make this good for me, you, and Rose. Rose took on her own entity. 

I'm trying my best to not make this sound weird: but Rose, in a way, became her own person. In truth, the only thing that stuck to my original manuscript for this story was Rose's talent, and her move to New York. At the beginning, Elena was meant to be a best friend, but she became her own and decided she was going to be the villain of the story. Colby was meant to be perfect, but flaws showed through. Logan wasn't even meant to be in the story. In the chapter I introduced him in, he was written on a whim. In fact, he was meant to be a mean character who berated Rose. Someone Colby would stand up to for Rose. (I named him Logan with Logan Paul in mind, he was meant to be an asshole. Annoying.) 

I think all of us up to date readers know that isn't the case anymore. 

I promise I'm getting back on track. 

What I truly mean by this lengthy letter is: Thank you. 

You guys gave me so much to live for. As someone who has suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts, I remember a particularly close time. I didn't think anyone would care, but then it hit me. Who would update XPLR when I'm gone? 

My life long dream of being an author doesn't seem so far out of reach now. You guys have given me the courage to call myself an author. I am an author. A writer. There is so much I want to tell you guys, so much I can't even conjure into some sort of form that makes sense. 

I'll remember this for ever. This story is 

Thank you for giving me a will to live. Thank you for giving me a purpose in this life. Thank you for making it possible. Thank you for allowing me to share Rose's story. 

I owe you guys the world. 

Yours truly, 
deodee.