XPLR | Colby Brock

~143~

It's a good thing I cleaned my apartment last night.

Mama greeted all three of us at the door. Colby, with whom Mama had never seen before, was the star of the show. A fresh set of legs to rub her face on.

"Hello there," Colby said, bending down to formally greet her. "Rose, I don't remember if you mentioned a cat when we called a few days ago," he said. He looked up at me, but his remark was obviously geared towards Logan. Prodding at him. Logan already knew that we had spoken though. While I had planned not to speak to him, I couldn't stay strong for long.

What these two boys don't understand, though, is that their little petty fight will only hurt one person: me. While they're trying to figure out whose dick is bigger, they've forgotten that I'm being forced to face my past, and my future.

"Help yourself to anything," I said, motioning around. "Feed Mama when you wake up, okay?" I asked. Colby lifted Mama up into his arms, and she looked up at him with gleeful eyes. "I'll take good care of her, don't worry, Rose," he said. My name leaving his lips sent a chill down my spine.

"It's getting late. I'm ready to go to bed," I told Logan. "Pack a quick bag so we won't disturb Colby," he answered. Translated from jealousy to English: Pack a bag so you don't have a reason to come back here and see him.

"Right," I said obediently. I decided to bring it up later. Since it was surely going to start a fight. And I'm sure Logan was hoping to get laid tonight, but if Colby was on my mind every other time we'd had sex, then I can only imagine what it would be like now.

God help me.

I just grabbed some clothes for school and rehearsals for Miss Saigon, and I kissed Mama on the head and pet her ears. "Colby will take care of you," I said. I knew that much without a doubt.

Logan walked towards the door, and he placed his hand on the knob and started to turn it, walking out into the hallway. He was impatient waiting for me, he wanted to get away from Colby ASAP. I was disappointed in how fast his mood turned sour.

I was about to follow him when Colby, behind me, said, "Rose, can I talk to you for a minute?"

I opened my mouth to answer. For God's sake, yes. Yes, let's talk. Touch me. Hold me. Please, I need you t- I was about to answer when Logan spoke for me. "No. It's late, and the Heights is a bit dangerous at night."

I've never see Logan like this. I've never seen him so possessive. I don't like it.

Colby's version of possessive was a glare or a "lay off". Nothing like this.

Then again, Colby never had to face an ex-boyfriend of mine. An ex-boyfriend who shattered my heart into a million pieces, ones he managed to pick up and glue together. Unfortunately, though, the glue was Elmer's. And it's falling apart in the rain.

"Sorry, Colby. Another time," I said quietly. There was a look of concern in Colby's eyes as he followed me and Logan out into the hall to watch us leave. Mama still content in his arms. Alan's door opened. It was such a loud gesture in the silent hallway, so all three of us turned to look. Alan's mouth open, and he looked right at me. "Is that-" he mouthed. I shook my head and waved him off. "I'll text you," I said, barely above a whisper, which seemed like yelling in this hallway. At the staircase, I cast one last glance at Colby. We were alone, we were different, we were cast aside by one another at some point in time. But we had never been so together, so righteous, and so united, than in this moment.

I woke up to Logan's alarm, but he wasn't besides me. "Logan?" I asked groggily, looking around for him. "Logan?" I called again as I stood up, and walked towards the kitchen where I heard some noise. He was making coffee. "Hey," I said tiredly. "How long have you been up?" I asked. I hadn't thought about Colby yet this morning. Right now, I was waking up next to my boyfriend in his apartment. But then I found myself wishing that it was Colby I was waking up to, in the trap house back in Los Angeles. By this time in the morning, seven, though, the trap house would've been buzzing because none of the boys had slept. Not because their girlfriend's ex-boyfriend she wasn't really over had walked back into her life, but because they'd just returned home from filming a ghost video.

Weren't those the good 'ole days.

"Do you have any lessons today?" I asked as I stalked towards Logan, slowly, deciding if I would be risking too much by touching him. "No," he said, "rehearsal with the band, though."

I touched his shoulder, and he practically melted into my touch. I rubbed it then, leaning against it. "Have fun. Don't think too much," I told him. "Just have fun with the guys," I said. He shrugged, and leaned in, kissing me for a few seconds before he pulled away, staring at me.

The spark, the tension, the fire, was all extinguished now.

I bit my lip and covered it up by hugging him. "I will," I answered, and in about fifteen minutes I was getting set to leave, dressed in dark colors and light makeup. I kissed him goodbye, and I left.

Don't go to see Colby. Don't, Rose. You're practically cheating!

Oh, please.

It's not like I'm going to sleep with the guy.

I couldn't resist stopping by. I haven't seen Colby in so long. Plus, last night, I fell asleep thinking of him. I dreamed of him.

I unlocked the door to my apartment, expecting him to be asleep. Instead, though, the boy was sitting at the one window in my apartment, my vanity chair pulled up to it. He leaned against the little night stand where a flower I'd been taking care of stood. Mama's food bowl was filled, but Mama was still asleep on the unmade bed. Colby's shirt was missing.

His ears were occupied with earbuds, he didn't hear me. He stared out the window, watching the sun rise. He seemed so peaceful. I had almost never seen him this way. I only ever saw him this way when we were sitting on the balcony of Cavenaugh. He would turn his up to the night sky, and the salty air would blow through his hair-

Oh, Rose, don't think of that now.

Colby was at peace.

I've never seen someone so miserable yet so profoundly alive.