XPLR | Colby Brock

~102~

Logan stood outside my apartment with me, backpack on his back and his hands in his pockets. "Are you sure you'll be alright getting to Oregon on your own?" he asked.

"Logan, I'm heartbroken, not disabled," I said with a shrug. I leaned against the door frame, watching him. Logan chuckled softly at that, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Right, sorry. Well I have to go if I'm going to make my flight," he said, smiling at me. I returned it with a small grin, and I moved towards him to hug him when he opened his arms to me.

He hugged me tight, one that could have said anything. Nevertheless, I let him hug me. And I let myself in enjoy it. It was what I needed right now, after all.

Logan has been so good to me lately. Babysitting me, really. It's been twenty-four hours since we left Colby's house for the last time, and he already took me out to dinner at the drugstore with the candy cigarettes he likes. I like too. He passed out on the floor next to my bed last night, just as exhausted as I was.

He's the friend I need right now. The one Elena should (and would) be if she hadn't been the girl who ruined it.

No, don't think like that, Rose. It's Elena's fault for sleeping with him, knowing you're dating him and you're in love with him, but it's Colby's fault for betraying you and sleeping with her.

"Oh, by the way," Logan said with a smirk as he knelt down and took his bag off his back and opened it, pulling out three boxes of candy cigarettes. "Here, for your drive," he said, laughing softly. I laughed too, and I accepted the boxes with a shy smile. "Thank you," I said, holding them. Logan just stared at me for a moment, before shying his eyes away. It made my heart pound for a moment.

"I have to go," he said, "I'll pick you up from the airport in two weeks. What are you doing for Christmas?" he asked me. "Are you staying in Oregon?"

"I don't know yet. My family might want to me to go or stay. It all depends on what happens," I said as I pushed my hair behind my ear. "Well, call me and let me know. Otherwise you'll arrive in the greatest city in the world on December 22nd," he said.

"I don't know if I want to be there during Christmas. Christmas will be a sad time, I was supposed to be spending it with Colby's family," I said. That made my heart shatter a bit, remembering that I was supposed to meet his family for the first time this Christmas. As his long term girlfriend, the one he was confident he was going to marry.

"You won't spend Christmas alone," he said. "You can spend it with me. Or my family, if you want. I won't make you though."

I smiled at him. "That sounds like a deal," I said. Truth is, I won't be staying in Oregon for Christmas. I'm going for two things and two things only: an explanation and an apology from my father.

Because maybe, if I have those two things, I can finally begin to heal.

Maybe that's why I clung so hard to Colby. Regardless of whether or not he clung to me the same way. I was so distant at first, then so attached, because a man never loved me. Not the way Colby did. If he did. And that made my heart wrench.

Logan smiled at me and hugged me one last time. "Drive safely. Call me if you need me. I could be in Oregon in about five hours by plane," he said with a laugh, running a hand through his hair. "I'll call you if I need you," I echo with a nod.

"Very well. Goodbye, Rose. I'll see you in a few days," he said as he started to walk towards the elevator. He didn't know how to leave, and I don't think he really wanted to leave. Logan isn't possessive, but I know he doesn't like Colby. And I think he sees himself as some sort of guard to keep Colby away.

He probably knows that seeing Colby right before I leave will make me stay.

Because it might.

I went inside and began to pack my stuff into my car. Most of my boxes have been mailed to an apartment I had just set up as of last night, and the landlord agreed that he would put my boxes in my apartment. And Logan insisted that when he gets to New York he'll personally check to make sure nothing is happening to them. Still, I had one suitcase full of two weeks worth of clothes.

I went upstairs for the last time, and I looked around my apartment. It made me cry. I miss Colby, but I miss Elena too. Granted, I miss my old friend long before we met Colby Brock. I miss the Elena who I would go out exploring with. I wish that was the same Elena I know today. I wish everything could go back to the way it was. Before Elena got possessive over Colby, before I knew I could go to Juilliard, before I met Logan, before everything that happened so quickly.

I sighed, and I gave a quiet, "Thank you for always being so good to me. Mr. Apartment." It sounded silly saying it out loud, but I wanted the walls to know that I'm thankful. "Thank you for being my first real home."

But I have to move on.

I put my last bag in the trunk of my newly fixed car, and I shut the trunk and sat in the driver's seat. I plugged my phone into the aux cord and started to play a musical playlist. Hamilton and Dear Evan Hansen and Be more Chill will never cease to distract me and make me feel better. Colby wasn't big on musicals, so he might let me play my alternative playlist or my classical playlist, but he was a stickler when it comes to musicals.

So forget Colby, and forget his music taste. Forget everything.

I can listen to what I want, who I want, and whenever I want.

Forever.