XPLR | Colby Brock

~135~

"So let me get this straight," Alan said, as he, Julie, and I walked down the street, ice cream in hand. It felt weird to hang out without Logan, since they were the people I saw the most. My family in New York.

"Your hot, dedicated, loving ex-boyfriend wants you back and you're worried about hurting a guy you're not even dating?" Alan asked, turning towards me. He took a scoop of ice cream and guided it into his mouth. "It's complicated," I said.

Julie was over at my place, just hanging out, while Logan was at one of his jobs. Whether it was the school or the diner, I don't know. Alan had said he heard us and was coming over, and that led to us walking around Washington Heights with ice cream in our hands, regardless of whether it was cold.

Lying in April had become something I was accustomed to. But with these two, I could be honest. In fact, I hadn't even planned on telling them I'd slept with Logan, twice now, but Alan saw right through me. In a world where I had no one to rely on, these two were a welcome comfort.

Julie had been quiet for a while. Her dark hair was braided up behind her head, and she seemed to be thinking. Julie was a naturally submissive, shy girl, but she was never very quiet around us. Usually just at the bar. A while ago, she had explained to us that she didn't have any other friends. She was new to the city too. Alan, on the other hand, had just explained, "There's no point in having friends. They all stab you in the back anyway." To put it short, we all had each other.

Which is why we didn't feel bad about hanging out without him. He has his band buddies, who are a little much for me. And Logan respects that, and makes time for the people in his life. "I'm not saying you should feel overly guilty about still loving Colby, but I don't think it's right for you to just dump Logan for the guilt," Julie said. "Of course, you're the only one who knows how he would react."

I close my eyes, just letting the sounds of the street flood my ears for a second. I push my hair behind my ear and took another bite of my ice cream. "I don't know," I final say. "This is such a mess. All I wanted was for things to be easy."

Alan chuckled, "Nothing's ever easy, darling. All we can do is survive on the mean streets of New York City."

"Yeah right," I said sarcastically. "Look at me. I'm  the Queen of New York," Julie quietly sang. I chuckled softly, before I turned away and sighed.

I wish my mom were around.

Maybe it's just how sad I am speaking, but I wish I knew the real reason why she killed herself. I'm wishing for a lot of things.

Mom never left a note, you know that?

I hate to think she killed herself because of me, that seems unlikely, but I think she killed herself because of my father. That's what makes the most sense, right? Well, it's the reason that never puts me in the wrong.

"What's up, hun?" Alan said, wrapping his arm around me and rubbing my shoulder. I took a bite of my ice cream and say softly, "I'm just tired," and I step up onto the cement steps that lead to our apartment building. Julie didn't follow us. "I think I'm going to go home," she said, looking at her watch. "I have the night shift. With Rebecca." There was a rare, annoyed tone to her voice.

"Okay," I said softly, and followed with, "Be careful."

She nodded and tossed her ice cream into a trash can on the street. She paused, "Hey, you guys hear that?" She asked, pointing to the sky to tell us to listen all around.

There was a shill cry that made my hair stand on end. "Is that a cat?" Alan asked. "A kitten," Julie whispered, "We need to find it, it's been raining all day, it's probably wet and it could get sick!"

Soft spoken, sweet Julie would of course be worried about the kitten.

I snooped around the street, looking around. There was another cry. "It's just one," Alan said, coming up next to me. I pointed to the street drain, the same one Pennywise stole Georgie from. That memory made me shrink away from the drain, but then the kitten cried again, and Alan was immediately on the ground, even though the cement was slimy and wet.

After a few seconds, he came back up with a little white kitten in his arms. He nodded to me. "Your jacket," he said. I peeled it off and held it out as he passed me the kitten.

I never had pets as a kid, the last dogs I'd interacted with for more than a few seconds were Navi and Circa, and it's been a little over a year since I saw Circa...

The cat was still crying. It was white, but the ends of its fur were dark with mud. "Let's take her inside and get her cleaned up," Julie ordered, this time leading the way into the apartment building.

We cleaned off the kitten in my little sink, and the little thing was shaking as we held it to dry it and keep it warm.

"You're Okay now, Mama," Alan said. He called every girl he's seen "Mama" in an endearing way. Such as, "Oooo, Pretty Mama's out here looking like a snack!" I snickered at the memory.

After a few minutes, though, the kitten fell asleep wrapped in a towel on my bed. "What are we gonna do with it?" Alan asked. Julie and I both looked at him, but he shrugged. "I have Frenchie," he said. Ah, yes, his French Bulldog who has a particular grudge with cats.

Julie held her hands up. "My apartment building doesn't allow pets," she said. I sighed, "So she's my responsibility?" I looked back at the poor thing, no more than 10 or so weeks old.

"Sounds like it," Alan said nonchalantly.

After they left, I crawled in bed next to Mama, as Alan named her. The sweet thing curled up under my arm and puffed and purred, until it lulled me to sleep.

I dreamt of Colby, and Cavenaugh Mansion.