Fallen Angels (UNEDITED)

LXXX

We are the fallen angels
We scream, we shout, whoa whoa
Too lost to see the road
~ Black Veil Brides, Fallen Angels

Being in your twenties is about finding yourself and realizing that you as a teenager isn't who you are going to be for the rest of your life.

So many times, I feared that seventeen-year-old me, would be me forever and that I would never escape the control of my parents. That I would always be Avril Lexington and that I would be always known as daughter, girlfriend and sister of men in my life.

I feared that my life would be defined by the men in my life rather than my accomplishments and myself.

Scrolling through my Facebook, something I haven't done in months I notice the women I used to call friends posting about their children and their husband's accomplishments, nothing about themselves besides the selfies with inspiring captions about life.

My mother fawning over Anthony and some award he was getting for his work with charities in third world countries, publicity for Lexington Co nonetheless.

I decide to click her profile and scroll through it, hoping to see something about her unworthy children. Maybe a post about how well Marcus was doing with school and the internship he landed at the Louvre for the summer or maybe anything about the book I finally had posted.

Nothing about Marcus or I.

I shouldn't be surprised or disappointed, but that familiar feeling starts to sink in my stomach. That feeling of not being good enough, something I have been trying to suppress my whole life but never been able to overcome.

I try to push the feeling away as I go to upload the photos from our wedding a few days ago, I have finally gotten all the photos from everyone's devices and was able to pick the ones I like.

I know these photos are about to offend my family and I will be receiving an angry call from my mother within the next hour about how I disgraced the family's name, but for the first time in my life, I don't care.

It doesn't take long for the comments to come in from aunts and uncles congratulating me or asking what happened to William, some even voicing their opinions about Erik.

I knew what would happen with my family. If they weren't us, they weren't good enough, something my great aunt used to tell me when she was over and asking about the girls in my classes.

I log out of Facebook, not caring about what my family thinks, just happy to show them I am happy and hoping somehow, they will be happy for me.

I push the Macbook aside and bury my head in my hands, I can feel the headache coming on just thinking about the things my mother will tell me.

It isn't even two minutes and my cell phone beside me is ringing.

Looking at the screen I see my mother's phone number displayed across the screen.

Taking a deep breath, I hit the answer button, "Hello?"

"Avril Lynn Lexington what were you thinking? Marrying some drug addict in Vegas? How drunk were you? This is why you can't be trusted and should have never left William who I may add is taking the time to get to know this wonderfully proper girl. Someone you should take lessons from." My mother's jab stings, but I push it aside. I am tired of her calling me and talking to me like a child, I had thought she would have learned her lesson the last time she called.

"Listen here mother, Erik isn't a drug addict or any foul mouth words you want to call him because he doesn't run in the same crowd like you. He knows how to treat people no matter their dollar sign to their name, something you never seemed to figure out. As for the wedding in Vegas? That is something I wanted, something that made me happy, something that I can say I am proud of and that I truly love." I take another deep breath, trying to keep my cool. I promised myself I wouldn't let her get to me, no matter how much she came at me.