Fallen Angels (UNEDITED)

XCIV

Then you came along like my own ray of sunshine
Made me feel warm, safe, and alive again
Don't you ever leave me baby
~ Hanoi Rocks, Don't You Ever Leave Me

It took some convincing to the publishing company that I was serious about this tour since it took me a while to get back to them. But I explained to them I had to discuss it with my husband as we were a team and I was supposed to be joining him on their European tour.

I was happy when they agreed to let me do the tour in two weeks.

I knew that the end would drain me, but I didn't want to miss their first overseas tour and stadium tour. Most of the places they had been playing in before were small stages in bars or outdoor events.

Warped Tour was the first time they had a stage at this level underneath their feet, but by the way they performed you wouldn't be able to tell.

They weren't bad for a group that started as teenagers messing around in Eric and Scar's apartment.

The next year would be a massive year for them, full of concerts and promotions as they started to climb the ladder and have their names out in the world.

"What do you think about this place?" I question Kyle as we sit on the couch together. He is busy swiping through Tinder while I am looking at places for Erik and me to tour once we are back in LA.

We are hoping for a place in the city or not far from it so that we will be close to work and can spend those extra few minutes together.

I know Erik wants a house so that they can build a place to "jam," but that also means being further away from the city.

Kyle looks over from his phone to look at my computer screen before looking back at his phone, "it is nice."

"That's it?" I question him with a raised eyebrow.

"Views?"

I stare at him and his phone instead of the woman he is swiping right on. All of them are beautiful blondes, with little to no imagination left in their photos.

I was jealous of how proud they were to show off their bodies for the world to see; I wanted that.

I try to push those thoughts away and focus on Kyle.

"Reason you aren't paying attention to any of the redheads or girls with colourful hair?"

Kyle doesn't say anything and focuses on his phone, not giving me any attention.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He hasn't talked about Isla since the day she left, and with Scarlett, well, he's acting like she never existed most days, especially after the day he kissed me when Scarlett showed up with her stolen song.

"What's there to talk about?" His calm demeanour turns cold and stoic towards me as if he was trying to shut me out.

"How you feel? How are you now trying to be a little man whore to forget about the women that have hurt you or trying to fuck the pain away? How you think all of this will fill the empty void?" I wait for him to respond, but rather than be vocal; I watch his muscles tense and his jaw lock.

"It's not healthy what you are doing."

"Fuck off Avril, let me be." Kyle stands up from the couch, but I pull him back down by his arm.

"You are going to talk to me about what is going on in that pretty little fucked up head of yours, and we are going to work through YOUR problems, so you don't catch anything with your reckless behaviour."

The bus door swings open and Erik and Devon step inside with groceries in hand.

They both look at each other before looking back at us, "uh we'll put these on the table and see what Lucas is up to."

Erik looks back at me before stepping off the bus with a concerned look on his face; I know he is worried about me pushing Kyle about the way he's been acting.

I think he is worried that he will lash out at me, but I'm not.

I trust Kyle.

"I don't want to see you self-destruct," I whisper, trying a different approach to get him to talk.

He sighs, "Av, it's painful to talk about... I don't want to bring up those open wounds."

"But they won't heal with a scab over them, especially those that deep, you need to work from the base up."

He sets his phone down on his lap before turning to look at me and give me his full attention, "I wanted to marry her. I was going to propose to her at the end of the summer. We had talked about taking a trip to Boston since the city reminded her of home and her family."

"You loved her?" I know the answer, but I want him to admit it.

"More than I loved any other woman."

I grab his hand and give it a gentle squeeze, "have you tried writing a song about her?"

"Every time I do, I get choked up on the words and angry, not like how I feel towards Scarlett, but I feel betrayed and beaten down when I think about...her."

I stop and think about the words I should choose next; he looks so broken and tired from the short conversation we've shared.

"Sometimes, the ones we love the most are the ones that hurt us the most, but that doesn't mean we ever stop loving them."

"I never want to see her again Avril, I want nothing to do with either of them, and I am tired of whatever love is. The only thing it has shown me is that I have given the power over to someone else." Kyle walks out of the bus and heads out into the warm summer weather.

I follow close behind to see him talking with Devon, both now smoking a cigarette, Devon with a smile on his face and Kyle with a mask covering his real emotions.

I can see the little cracks forming, ready to split open and let the hell running around inside of him bleed out.

"Do you think you helped him?" Erik asks, standing beside me.

"I hope so, but I'm not sure. He loved both of them, but he wanted to propose to Isla... how do you heal from something like that?"

"With friends and family, but knowing Kyle us being on tour will be a good thing."

"Hopefully, she doesn't pop up when you guys are in Scotland. I don't know how well he would handle that."

"And if she does, we will all be there for him. We aren't going to let our band make the same mistake twice."

I look up at Erik and notice he doesn't have a cigarette pressed to his lips but rather is chewing on gum.

"You aren't smoking right now."

"I'm trying to cut down, but I can't make any promises."

"I'm proud of you."

Erik pulls me into a hug and places his chin on the top of my head.

"What's this?" I laugh since Erik has been complaining about how hot it's been all day and that no one was to touch him. Lucas had made it a game, but I think after the fourth or fifth punch, he had given up.

"To say thank you for everything you've done and come into my life. You really are the ray of sunshine in my life."

Cover by @LauraAnnLee
Edited by GirlReader133