Theon Greyjoy X Stark!Reader - Dog Days Are Over

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A/N - This chapter is based on the song 'Dog Days Are Over' by Florence + The Machine. It's mostly based on the line "Leave all your love and your longing behind, you can't carry it with you if you want to survive." I hope you all enjoy it.

The forest seemed completely perfect in the fading light of the evening. There was a chill in the air, of course there was, it was to be expected in the North, but it was as though you had forgotten to care about the cold. The scene was too beautiful; too pristine to be broken by such trivial things. 

The river, which you had spent so much of your childhood playing alongside, glistened, and bird chirped in the trees, and you remember ever last fond memory in that moment. It was the spot where you had first decided that you would marry Theon, though he hadn't known it himself at the time. You had been a girl with this perfect fantasy of your love for him, and somehow, you had managed to wish it into existence. 

Perhaps, it hadn't been wise of you to have committed yourselves to one another so young. You had both only been sixteen at the time, and people had repeatedly told you of how you would regret it as you grew older. But it seemed that neither of you truly minded, and you had spent the first year or so in married bliss. You loved Theon, and he loved you, and there was no way that you were going to regret that.

It was only a year after you were married that the King came to Winterfell and tore your family apart. Your father, bound by loyalty to his old friend, had agreed to leave his home with little care for how it would affect his children. Sansa was more than happy to be promised to a prince, and Arya just pleased to be headed on an adventure. But the rest of you were out of sorts. What with Bran's fall and your father's soon-to-be absence, your mother had grown paranoid, and Rickon had turned to you for his comfort. Theon was the rock that had held you together and every night you would thank the Gods for bringing him to you.

At night, he had taken to holding you as you cried, but soon enough, even that had been forced to change with the appearance of Rickon at your door, shedding his own tears. After that he had grown used to sharing your chambers, and all sense of normality was torn from your grip.

You had been heartbroken when Robb had declared war. Of course, you understood why it had to happen, but you couldn't help but think of the losses to come. No matter the outcome, you would lose your father, and now, with battle on the horizon, you were likely to lose your brother and your husband, even if only for a short while.

In times to come, Robb would regret not listening to you. When he heard of your father's death he would wonder whether you had been right about his war. When he watched his wife murdered and his men slaughtered he would remember what you had told him of loss and he would wish he had heard your warning. And when you learned of the attack at the Twin's you would cry over how you hadn't fought hard enough to change his mind.

When Lord Bolton took Winterfell, you had hidden yourself from them. Theon had already done so much damage to your home, even when you had begged him not to, and now there were men coming to steal away the last thing you held dear. Your home would be torn from you as so much else had been. It had been almost a week of their residency in Winterfell when you finally made the decision to leave. There was little you could do for Theon now, and though you were ashamed of your anger, you couldn't help but blame him for his part in tearing your world apart.

Almost two years on the road had brought you home again, this time with Sansa and Jon at your side. The world seemed a little brighter now. Having your family with you again, even after so many terrible things having taken place had lifted your heart. But now, as you stood by the river you began to remember just how happy you had been before. There was an innocence in childhood happiness that could never be regained when you had seen the cruelty the world held. 

The grass was damp as you slumped down into it, staring down into the running water with the intensity of a hawk. How had this place bewitched you so thoroughly when you were young? How had it convinced you that loving Theon was a good choice? And why was it refusing to release you from such love after everything else?

You had known when you had married him that Theon was a man with a lot of damage. You had known that he would struggle when hard times reared their head. And yet, it had still broken your heart to see how easily he had turned his back on your family, despite his love for you. Even as he was taking Winterfell for his father he had claimed to care for you, and somehow it had made everything far more painful.

"Sansa told me you would be in your chambers, but I knew you wouldn't be." The voice caused you to jump, shifting onto your knees in an instant and turning to face the speaker. Theon looked every part the broken man your mind had created. He was dirty and thin, and something in you ached for how pained he looked. "I knew you'd come here first," he added softly, and you attempted to slow your racing heart as you stared at your husband.

"I find it calming," you murmured, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. "I was thinking when we were young; before everything happened."

Theon nodded, taking a shuffling step towards you and watching as you took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he started, his eyes falling to his feet as his lips trembled. "I am so sorry," he repeated, his voice catching in his throat.

"If I had any sense I would kill you for what you did," you told him, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I should hate you, and Seven Hells that makes this so much harder." Your husband glanced up at your now, brows furrowed in confusion. "My heart won't let me hate you and I just-" You paused, your voice catching as you released a shaking breath. "I want to believe that you regret your decisions, and not just because he hurt you, but because you realised that what you did was wrong."

Theon shifted on the spot. "I was so stupid. My father-" He cleared his throat, straightening up slightly. "I won't attempt to give you an excuse. There is no excuse that makes up for what I did."

"I knew Robb never should have allowed you to go to the Iron Islands," you uttered, finally giving in and stepping into your husband's embrace. Your body released its tension as you buried your face into Theon's neck, attempting to find the smell of him hidden under the layers of grime. "I missed you so much."

"I'll make it up to you," he murmured, hands gripping you to him as tightly as he could manage.

You remained silent, taking a deep inhale of him. Somehow, even after everything you had fallen back to him as you had when you were young. Part of you wished you could burn this memory into your mind for years to come. The golden glow of the sun on the water and the darkness being thrown by the trees. It really was beautiful.

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