I Saved A Chair For My Mom...

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"Do you know the feeling when you're excited, but then you want to cry with nerves?" I asked as Jessica was curling my hair.

"Yep." Jessica said. "Also, please grow your hair back out. I liked it better when it was long."

"No promises, Jess. I like it short." I said, giggling. "I have to go. Red's dropping me off and the band needs to be there at 5:30. I hope you can make it." I kissed Jess on the cheek and skipped out the door.

"Cat! You think you need your sax?" I heard. I ran back into the apartment, and Elle started giggling. "Oh yeah. Silly me." I grabbed my sax and ran out of the apartment. When I got out of the building, I saw Red's car pulled up alongside the street.

"Hey! Kit! What's up?" Red yelled from an open window. I waved to Elle and got in the car. A little girl was on the other side of me.

"That's my little sister, Morgan. She's a sixth grader who decided to play violin." Red said.

"Hi. I'm Cat." I said to Morgan.

"Hi." said Morgan, not looking up from her phone. Ah, typical teenagers.

We pulled into the school, and I grabbed my saxophone.

"Do you need a ride home?" Red asked. I said, "Nah. I'll have one of my siblings or Katie or Ryan pick me up."

"Okay then. Have fun girls! Good luck!" Red's mom said. We excitedly ran out to the band room, where the entire middle school band was setting up.

"Cat! Red! You made it!" Axel yelled, setting up his saxophone.

"Axel, this counts for 50% of our grade for the term. My mom would kill me if I failed." I said, suddenly feeling anxious.

"Cat? Are you okay?" Red asked.

"Yeah. I hope my mom can make it." I said.

"Wait...what?" Axel asked.

"Jess has a doctor's appointment, and she doesn't know about my solo yet. I think Ryan has a plan, but I'm scared." I said.

"Don't worry, Kit. It'll be okay." Red said.

"Junior High band? You're on." our band director said after about 15 minutes. I grabbed my saxophone and my sheet music and walked out to the auditorium.

I had never been in the school auditorium before. I do community theater, not school theater. The community theater kids were a lot nicer than the theater kids at my school. I was almost going to audition for Matilda the Musical, but once I found out Violet Gardner was auditioning, I decided to audition for Seussical instead.

It would've been a lot more fun to do Matilda if Ethan was still alive and doing lights for it.

I sighed, shaking off the memory, and sat down in my seat next to Axel. I looked out in the audience, and tried to find my family.

None of them were here yet. I sighed, wondering why they would miss this.

Right before the lights went down, the doors opened, and Alice and Ryan ran in, followed by Barrett, Jon, Evan, and Katie. Elle and Jessica haven't showed up yet. They found a group of empty seats and sat down.

I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. My own mother didn't bother to show up.

The lights went down and I almost started crying. I wanted Elle here, more than anything.

We played the group number, then I was time for my solo.

When they announced my name, I stood up, and looked out to the audience.

I couldn't do this. I froze in fear and ran off stage. I ran back to the band room and quickly packed up my saxophone, crying. Once my sax was away, I ran to the bathroom and locked the stall door, crying.

My phone vibrated at that moment.

Evan: Are you okay?
Cat: Yeah. I'm fine. Just nerves.
Evan: You are obviously not fine. Call me. I want to talk to you.
Cat: I'm crying and I'm a mess. It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed.
Evan: Please call me, Sunshine. I'm outside.
Cat: Fine.

Evan called me, and I picked up the phone.

"Sunshine? Are you okay?" Evan asked softly.

"I feel so stupid!" I said into the phone, crying. 

"Hey, hey, hey, Sunshine...it's okay. You're not stupid, okay? Listen to me. Just focus on my voice. Deep breath in...let it out. You're okay, Sunshine. I love you so much." Evan said soothingly into the phone.

"I feel so dumb, Evan. I feel like a disappointment to this family..." I said.

"Hey. Listen, it's perfectly okay to be nervous." Evan said.

"You guys must be so mad at me for freezing up like that..." I said, crying. "I'm an embarrassment to you guys, I'm an embarrassment to the band..."

"We are not mad at you, baby Sunshine. You have anxiety, you were nervous. I totally get it. How about this, tonight we can get takeout and watch a movie together, and tomorrow, we can have a Cat and Evan day in?" 

"I actually was going to ask you if I could stay home tomorrow." I said.

"Then it's settled. Now, come outside. We're gonna get ice cream." Evan said.

"Just don't mention what happened...please..." I said.

"I won't. But, I do want to talk with you about it when we get home. I just want to check in on you and make sure you're okay, alright?" Evan said. 

"Alright. I'm going outside now. Love you." I said, hanging up.

___________

"Cat? Can I talk to you?" Evan asked after we got ice cream.

"Fine." I said from behind my bedroom door. Evan walked in and sat on my bed.

"Are you okay?" Evan asked, hugging me. 

"I feel so dumb..." I said. Evan kissed my forehead and said, "You're not dumb, Sunshine. Not at all. Now, tell me why you froze up like that. I'm not mad, I'm just concerned."

"I'm sorry, Evan...I couldn't do it without Elle...I was internally breaking down and I couldn't handle the nerves and the pressure...it got too much." I said. Evan hugged me tight and said, "I know. I know how hard life has been for you lately. But you know what, Sunshine?"

"What?"

"You're so strong. You are the strongest young woman I have ever met." Evan said. "You've been through more trauma than most adults I know, and you're only 13 years old. I know it can get too much for you to handle sometimes, and I totally get it." 

"No, you don't." I said, crying.

"You're right. I can't even begin to imagine how hard life has been for you lately. But I'm always here for you. It's what brothers are for." I laughed and hugged Evan.

"I love you, Sunshine." Evan said.

"I love you too."

AN: I wanted to include some Cat/Evan bonding time so I snuck it in there, hehe. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Catch ya later! 


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