Before you knew

80. Alive.

I jolt.
It's what wakes me up.

I'm terrified to move.

'Clay?'

The soft voice and a warm hand on my shoulder,
'You okay?' She asks as she rubs her eyes.

I pull her to me, burying my face in the crook of her neck.
'I can't do this anymore.'
She pats my back with both hands, rubbing soothing circles.
'Its all okay.' She whispers.

She pulls back a little and gives me a bright smile, though I'm upset as hell. It's goofy because of her mussed hair and sleepy face. I can't help but smile a little too. The nightmare slipping away from me. 'You know...' She starts as she lays down and looks at the ceiling. 'You kicked me once.' She says. 'I'm sorry.' I say. 'What do I get every time you kick or push me in your sleep?' She asks. 'What?' I ask. 'I want some sort of compensation for putting up with you.' She says. I chuckle 'you're such an idiot.' I say as I lay on my back as well. 'A kicked idiot.'

I look at her as she still looks up.
She's smiling, and at first I don't know why,
But then I feel her small hand tap mine before it slips into my own.

'Got em'

I laugh at her. 'Yeah, Sure, sure.' I say. She giggles.
Even though she's on her back her face is half hidden under the sheets.
'Thank you.' 
She turns her head to me and squeezes my hand a little.
'What for?' She asks as she hugs my arm.

'Being alive with me.'

She smiles brightly and scoots closer, placing a kiss on my cheek.
'I like being alive with you.'
She rolls onto her side, laying her head on my chest with her hand following suit.

'Yeah. Me too.'