∿haikyuu!! oneshots∿

♡ kageyama - he lives in the castle i built ♡

enjoy :D

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Kageyama glared at the ball in his hand, and then promptly threw it against the will with built up frustration.

He felt many emotions well inside his chest, and he collapsed against the wall of the gym, sweaty despite not having done much physical exercise. His heart pounded loudly in his ears, but he didn't care. It didn't matter anyway.

Every breath burned. It stung and Kageyama couldn't tell why. He didn't know the why for anything and it made him want to throw his head against a wall again.

He didn't want to cry. It was only 5pm, it felt wrong to cry at 5pm. 5pm would be when volleyball would've ended if they were still in high school, racing each other out the door to practice extra at the nearby park despite Suga's yelling, reminding them it would be getting dark soon.

Kageyama sighed, but a smile filled his features. The memories felt bitter, but a nice bitter. It was dumb of him to think their late-night practices meant anything more than practice to Hinata. It was dumb to think that Kageyama had completely rid himself of his fears.

Most of his fears were gone, though, and that was always something he was thankful for. Hinata had helped him past the nightmares of his team leaving, his friends biting their thumbs towards him, and his hands disobeying as he shot an awful set.

Hinata had also helped his confidence. His confidence was no longer flakey, thin, and fake, now it held meaning in the things he was truly proud of. Apparently, however, Hinata hadn't stabilized his confidence to the point Kageyama felt like he could confess.

Kageyama pondered the thought that Hinata had helped Atsumu with something similar. Had he built his trust enough he couldn't help but fall in love? Did Atsumu return it at all?

Or, if Kageyama had helped Hinata in return, would he have stayed?

Kageyama couldn't tell, and it hurt to think he'd never get to know. It stung to think that it could've maybe been him, if he'd been a better friend.

It didn't matter now, though. Hinata had officially made the post today announcing he was dating Atsumu.

Just thinking about it made Kageyama feel sick. He contemplated sitting by the toilet until the feeling subsided so he could distract himself from his emotional pain with the feeling. His end deal, however, was that he didn't have the energy to leave his spot.

That's my kingdom, Kageyama thought bitterly, I built it.

It wasn't his kingdom anymore, though. And it was hard. It was Atsumu's, and even if he'd build it, Atsumu had renovated the kingdom until it was fantasy-like.

Each blacksmith Kageyama considered to be a skill of theirs, Atsumu could do better. Each bakery that was a fond memory sold better breads and each gravel road of his compliments were paved and spread throughout more of the kingdom.

And the castle, the place Kageyama had rested with Hinata to govern their lands, was clean and modern, a sight to see where Atsumu sat in a gorgeous throne above it all.

Kageyama recalled his kingdom. It'd started with a few buildings around, a main road and a few dirt paths here and there. His castle was nothing more than a small cottage once, surrounded in small mushrooms and pretty flowers.

By the time they'd graduated, the kingdom was beautiful. Almost every house had either a flower or mushroom garden and it was full of vibrant oranges that contrasted well with the dark blacks. Streets spread the city, and the stores had an abundance of goods.

Kageyama chuckled at the fond memory of building the castle. Brick by brick, he'd fallen more in love with Hinata and eventually furnished his castle with lovely rugs and sofas. His throne was built of wood and cloth, plain and black but fitting, and Kageyama felt properly like a king sitting in it.

Atsumu was there, now. The walls were still Kageyama's hand-crafted bricks, but it'd been painted over with a soft grey to match the new carpets and sofas. The castle's wooden decorations had been replaced with metal. The throne was red and golden.

Kageyama hated how nice it looked. It looked so great, in such less time than it took to build it because Atsumu hadn't built it.

The worst part of it was Atsumu's kindness. He was sweet to Hinata and matched his energy almost always. They were a perfect fit, and Atsumu was the perfect king for the kingdom.

Kageyama remembers clearly when he was removed from his throne. Atsumu was there one day, visiting, and he'd tried on the crown Kageyama had made himself. It fit perfectly.

It fit so well that everyone commented on it. They complimented how well it suited Atsumu, and over the months they started asking him to wear it.

Atsumu was kind about it, too. He respected that it was Kageyama's throne until Kageyama stopped building. Until Kageyama hid away in his room all day instead of chatting with his people.

It was somewhere around there that Atsumu had taken over the kingdom. He'd confronted Kageyama about it, but Kageyama knew it was too late and his reign must end eventually. He'd handed the crown to Atsumu.

It didn't sit right with Kageyama how quickly Atsumu was accepted as king. It felt wrong that Hinata's texts and weekly calls slowed and felt more gentle.

Kageyama glared again at the ball that was now resting across the court.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he reached for another ball. 

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hey, make sure you drink at least one cup of water today and eat something, even if it's small :)