Winter's Widow pt 1!

Just One more Day

*It was the first night you were putting Grant in the nursery*
Y/N- I don't know Bucky... I just don't like the idea of him being in another room..
Bucky- He will be fine y/n... trust me..
Y/N- Okay...
*You put Grant in his Crib and turn in his noise machine.. you turn off the light and leave the room.. a couple minutes go by and Grant starts to cry... you hop right up to check on his Bucky Bucky pulls you back down*
Y/N- Bucky-
Bucky- Give him 5 minutes... if he's still crying then you can check on him.. he's got to learn to self soothe..
Y/N- He's 4 weeks old.. he has the rest of his life to self soothe!
Bucky- y/n.... Trust me..
*Your momma heart couldn't take it but you sat there and counted 5 minutes... just to prove to Bucky it wouldn't work... but it did.. Grant stopped crying and was asleep again*
Y/N- How did you?? What?!
Bucky- When you take your nap in the afternoon and he goes down for his this is what I do... and it works. He's cry's for 5 minutes and then he goes to sleep..
*That should have made you happy but for some reason you start to cry*
Y/N- You're a better mom than me... *You loose it*
*Bucky takes you in his arms and rubs your back.. he tries not to laugh*
Bucky- I could only pretend to be half the mom you are..

*Your hormones are completely out of wack because that almost sent you over the edge*
Y/N- Really?! *You sit up and climb in his lap*
*Bucky is kind of confused as to what's happening*
Bucky- Yeah Baby.. Grant is the luckiest Baby is the world.. he gets your kisses and hugs. He is snuggled in your arms all day.. no wonder he cries whenever we put him down.. I'd cry too..
*You smile and laugh.. you wipe the tears from your face.. you wrap your arms around Bucky's neck*
Y/N- I love you Bucky.. *You kiss him.. you climb off his lap and lay down next to him*

*Its the end of week 5.. you find yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror.. your body is very different now... Nursing has helped tremendously with loosing the baby weight but you didn't feel like yourself.. Bucky walked in... you wrapped your robe around you tighter... Bucky walks up behind you and kisses your neck.*
Bucky- Good morning... is this a new robe? It looks good.. *He whispers in your ear* it would look even better on the floor.. *He snakes his hand around your waist*

*For the first time in your life that did not give you confidence.. usually Bucky brought out your confidence and you never questioned how you looked or if he found you attractive... but these postpartum hormones are playing tricks on your mind and you doubt what he has said... he sees the doubt in your eyes*
Bucky- Hey... talk to me..
Y/N- I can't talk to you about this... you won't understand..
Bucky- Try me...
*You walk away and Bucky pulls you back into his embrace*
Bucky- I have a feeling I know what it's about and you should know... I find you just as sexy as I did before... more so!
Y/N- I'm sexier to you now??
Bucky- Oh yeah! Before you were sexy... now you're a hot sexy mama.. you single-handedly housed, gave birth, and nourish our son. He is alive today because of what your body has done.. and that *He pulls you closer* is sexy as hell.. *He kisses you* that makes me feel all sorts of ways.. *He slips one hand in your robe and rests it on your waist* that has me counting down the days till I can take you on this bed, and that shower, and against that wall.. *You laugh and wipe a tear away from your eyes*
Y/N- I love you Bucky... thank you.
Bucky- I love you too Y/N..

*Steve walks in your room*
Bucky- Knock much?
*Steve smiles*
Steve- What? It's not like I was interrupting anything
*Bucky throws a pillow at him.. Steve catches it*
Steve- I wanted to grab y/n... I found some pictures of us from a couple years back.. thought you would want them..
*Steve ands you a shoebox full of photos*
Bucky- oh good more naked photos of my wife that my best friend took..
Steve- Umm Nope.. you've got all of those
*You laugh and wrap your arms around Bucky... you take the box from Steve and look at the pictures.. you were reminiscing when Grant started to cry*
Bucky- Y'all continue your walk down Memory lane.. I got him.

*Bucky walks into the nursery and you hear him talking to Grant*
Bucky- Hey there Little Wolf... did you enjoy your nap... was it good? Oh big stretch!! I know being a super cute, stud muffin, baby is exhausting work.... All these women just falling all over you..
*You laugh and Steve shakes his head*
Steve- Ya know... if he is anything like Bucky when he becomes a teenager-
Y/N- I know *You burry your head in Steve's shoulder* don't remind me
*Steve laughs*

*You hear Bucky yell from the nursery*
Bucky- Code brown!!
*You laugh*
Steve- Code brown?
Y/N- Poop... and lots of it.. memory lane will have to wait.
*You get up to help Bucky and Steve leaves the photos on your dresser... he pops his head in the nursery to watch you and Bucky.. you two are bickering about what to do*
Y/N- Lift him up
Bucky- I am! I can't lift him any higher or else shit is going to go everywhere!
Y/N- Watch your language in front of Grant
Bucky- He's a baby
Y/N- Yeah and he understand-
Bucky- Absolutely nothing
Y/N- I will literally push this shitty diaper in your face
*Bucky gasps and teases you*
Bucky- Watch your language in front of Grant!
*You laugh and bump Bucky out of the way so you can clean Grant... Bucky slaps your ass and kisses your cheek*
Y/N- Please go get a new outfit and change the bedding... oh and run a bath cause this is nasty!
Bucky- You got it Baby
*Steve slips back out... he just laughs*

*You are sitting in the living room with Grant and Peter walks in with Thor and Sam*
Peter- Grant!! Oh y/n can I hold him? Please!?
*You laugh*
Y/N- Yeah... just make sure you support his head..
*Peter holds Grant and makes funny faces... Grant smiles... everyone else walks in and witness the adorable scene... Peter puts Grant on his play mat and gets down on the floor with him.. Bucky comes and sits next to you on the couch*

*Tony walks in*
Tony- So... the machine is ready...
*Everyone looks at James*
James- Oh... okay.. umm when should we do this?
*Steve and Tony look at each other*
Tony- Probably the sooner the better..
James- Right... umm could we at least wait till tomorrow?
Steve- Yeah... don't worry about it.. we will have a big party tonight and send you back in style..
*James gives a half smile and leaves the room.. you look at Bucky and you get up to follow James*

*You find him in Grants nursery.. he's crying*
James- I'm sorry.. do you need to put him down?
Y/N- No... I came to talk.. I know what Tony said but we can wait till you're ready..
James- I've waited long enough... I need to get back.. *He looks at you and smiles* I've got a women who's waiting on me.. *He pushes your hair out of your face* I just hate that I'll leave all of this.. I love her.. you, I love you but I feel like I'm abandoning my family if I leave..
*He wipes a tear away*
Y/N- You're not though.. you are going back to your family.. think about it this way.. you get to go back and do all of this again.. do it better than Bucky... we don't get that privilege.. this is it for us.
James- I don't know if I could do any of this better than Bucky... he's pretty great...
Y/N- He really is.. *You smile and put your hand on James chest* but so are you... you are Him!
*James smiles*
James- Maybe I could wait one more day or two..
*Bucky walks in with Grant*
Bucky- you wanna spend some time with Grant?
*James' face lights up*
James- Yeah.. I'd love too! Come here little Wolf.. *Bucky gives James Grant* let's go on a walk..
*James walks out of the room*

Bucky- Damn... I do look good with a baby!
*You laugh and poke Bucky in the side.. He wraps you in his arms.. he looks down into your eyes*
Bucky- You okay?
*Tears start to well up*
Y/N- Yeah... I don't know why I'm crying.. it's not like I'm loosing you... *You burry your face in his chest*
*He strokes your hair and kisses your head*
Bucky- But you are... and it's okay to feel that loss... But think of this... there is a past you that is about to be the happiest women in the world...
Y/N- Yeah until James throws her out of a plane in less than 24 hours...
*Bucky takes a deep breath*

Bucky- Yeah... have I apologized for that recently.. I feel like I'm over do on my yearly penance for that..
*You bust out laughing and look up at him*
Y/N- I'll find a way for you to make it up to me..
*Bucky leans in close*
Bucky- Oh really?!
*You lean in more*
Y/N- Mmhhmm
*You both smile and kiss*