Winter's Widow pt 1!

Get Through This Day

*The next day you wake up and realize Grant has already gotten Little Grant up and dressed... you find them out in the living room watching cartoons*
Y/N- Well hello
Grant- Hey mom... *Little Grant looks at you and squeals... you laugh*
Y/N- Did you feed him?
Grant- No... I didn't know how to work any of that so I was just waiting for you or someone else who did..
*You laugh and take little Grant*
Y/N- Well thank you anyway... I needed the rest. Have you seen Winnie?
Grant- She stayed in Thor's room last night... and I'd knock this time mom... *He laughs and you shake your head... you decide to let Winnie and Thor have the morning*

*Winnie wakes up... she props up on her side and brushing Thor's Hair hour of his face.. he slowly wakes up too*
Thor- Mmhmm morning.. *He slings and arm around her and pulls her close.. She giggles. he kisses her and moves his hands to her waistband*
Winnie- Wow when you said we'd revisit it in the morning your weren't kidding..
*Thor laughs and kisses Winnie.. He rolls on top and settles between her legs... She wraps her arms around him and pulls him close... They both pull back*
Winnie- Hi *She smiles*
Thor- Hi *He smiles and kisses her nose*
Winnie- My parents are probably gonna walk in any minute and I don't want to disappoint them...yea again..
*Thor chuckles*
Thor- You could never disappoint them... they just want what's best for you... and waiting the day away having sex with a god is not what's best...
*Winnie Scoffs*
Winnie- Speak for yourself!
*Thor laughs and pulls her out of bed*
Thor- Tonight... how does that sound? When we know everyone's asleep and we won't be bothered
Winnie- perfect! *She stands on her tip toes and kisses his cheek.. she goes to get dressed and then heads out front*

*You sit in your chair as you nurse Grant... Bucky walks up and kisses you*
Bucky- Weird question... can you still do that? Ya know being pregnant and all??
*You laugh*
Y/N- Yes... it's even more exhausting but yes.... I'm not ready to give it up though..
Bucky- But you eventually have to stop with him right?
Y/N- No, I don't have to.. I probably will. I wanted to get to a year but then this one came along *You pat your belly* so now I will settle for 9 months..
*Bucky smiles and kisses you again*
Bucky- You got this baby...
*Steve knocks*
Bucky- It's open
*You just turn your chair a little so he can't see*
Steve- hey so I just mapped out the next mission and it's gonna be a long one..
Bucky- The one to get the stones?
Steve- Yeah....
Bucky- Well I'm staying then
Y/N- Bucky-
Bucky- No, I'm not gonna leave you alone with Grant and Winnie on the way.. especially with Pierce and Walker still here..
Y/N- Bucky, I will be okay... they are locked up-
Bucky- No-
Steve- What if I stay... like last time when she was pregnant with Grant... I'll stay back, really I don't mind.. We can send Sarah and Grant in my place and you can see if they really hold up the family legacy.
*Bucky looks between you two*
Bucky- I'm supposed to be here for my family.. no offense Steve but I can't let another man guard and take care of my family...
Y/N- Okay, then Steve will go with you and we will figure something out... like weekend visits and stuff..
*Bucky laughs*
Bucky- fine, we will figure something out..
*He kisses you and turns to steve*
Bucky- Okay let's see this map..

*The day goes by with no problems... Winnie and Grant helped with Baby Grant and Morgan was helping build the machine... it was almost ready*
Y/N- Okay I am wiped out.. I'm going to bed.. *You look at Bucky* you coming?
Bucky- Yeah in a minute...
*In the silence of the night Bucky opens his phone and sees the big red dot on his calendar... a reminder for the worst day of his life... he didn't need the reminder anymore.. he remembers it all, vividly.. he can't bring himself to delete it though... he wishes for a time when this particular day in January is just another normal day and nothing special... hopefully that day will come soon but for now the dot will stay as a reminder of the day he fell*

Bucky- Goodnight Grant.. *He whispers as he kisses him... he's sleeping in his crib.. yet again Big Grant is in Winnie's bed which means Winnie is in Thor's.. He walks back into the room*
Bucky- Goodnight baby.. *He kisses you and turns off the light*
*Sleep takes him quickly but soon he is met with the flashes of blue and grey.. the sky as he falls.. he hears Steve yell "Bucky No!" and his own screams... he hears the fading of the train as it disappears into the mountain as he lays in the snow and water unable to move or speak... being dragged away and unimaginable pain over taking his body.. his arm is on fire, it burns... he claws at it drawing blood... then it's cold.. so cold his lungs freeze... he wishes he could die but the ice keeps him alive... it's who he is now, nothing more*
Bucky- *Gasps for air as he shoots away and sits up*
*He looks at his arm... there's a little blood right at the edge.. he tried to rip it off in his dream... again. Bucky takes deep breaths and reminds himself of where he is*
Bucky- I am James Bucky Barnes, I am safe.. I am no long working for Hydra, I'm in the avengers compound, I'm an avenger.. Steve is alive, Y/N is alive, Y/N is my wife.. *He looks at you and tears stain his eyes and he smiles* she's the most important person in my life, I am a dad to Grant and Winnie.. I am Bucky... I am safe...
*His breathing calms and he lays back down.. he lays right behind you and pulls you into his arms tight*
Bucky- I'm safe.... *He drifts off to sleep*